Helicopters deliver drivers to the Southern Hemisphere Proving Ground where a range of BMWs await. Photo / Simon Darby.
Helicopters deliver drivers to the Southern Hemisphere Proving Ground where a range of BMWs await. Photo / Simon Darby.
High on a mountain, Shandelle Battersby experiences the thrill of driving hell for leather on the ice.
I'm really hoping that any males out there who start to read this story stick with me to the end, because whenever I've tried to tell any blokes I know about my BMW Alpine xDrive experience, they turn green with envy and stalk off before I'm done.
Yes, it seems as though driving a range of brand new high-performance, absolutely gorgeous BMWs around for a day on the snow is something every fellow would like to do, and I can report, ladies, that it's something we're rather good at, too.
The xDrive event is held high in the mountains above Cardrona, about halfway between Queenstown and Wanaka, on a playground for grown-ups that dreams are made of.
This is where you'll find the Southern Hemisphere Proving Ground (SHPG), a private vehicle testing facility for extreme winter conditions, and where, for a couple of weeks each year, BMW aficionados can get behind the wheel of the carmaker's latest products and take them for an adrenalin-fuelled ride on the snow.
The aim is to develop new skills driving a number of beautiful BMWs in the most challenging environments, showcase the carmaker's 4WD system, xDrive, and - most of all - have fun.
And, oh what fun it is. Our day of adventure dawns clear but freezing. The temperature has hauled itself up to a bone-chilling -1C by the time our group of 20 stands huddled together in a frost-covered field, just out of Arrowtown, waiting for the four helicopters that will swoop us up the mountain.
After a short, thrilling ride, we spot our manicured playground from the air, and the heavy machinery used to create it. There are multiple stand-alone facilities here used by several carmakers for testing. They feature large snow circles, snow flats, slalom tracks, ice flats and more.
BMW Alpine xDrive. Photo / Simon Darby.
Safety briefings started the night before at the welcome cocktail party, beginning with possibly the most important and timely warning of all: Don't turn up with a hangover.
We're all kitted up in warm clothing, flat shoes, sunglasses and sunblock but we're extremely lucky with the weather - there isn't a cloud in the sky and there is zero wind. I'm down to a T-shirt by lunchtime, though the temperature only reaches about 3C. The cars are warm (love those heated seats) and the thrills and concentration of the driving make your heart thud and your blood rush - in a nice way, of course.
The views are spectacular - Mt Aspiring, Mt Cook and the Cardrona skifield are our vistas for the day, and they are picture-perfect.
We're looked after by professionally trained BMW instructors, including their top gun, head instructor and motorsport veteran Mike Eady, senior instructor Martin Collins, and young up-and-coming race car drivers Tom Alexander and Gene Rollinson, who communicate with us via RT radios in the cars.
Twenty of us are split into two groups of six different cars, two instructors per group, most with two drivers a car, and we swap circuits at lunch. The cars range from the compact SUV, 2-litre diesel X1, to the newly launched X4 mid-size SUV and the big daddy X6 with a 3-litre diesel engine. Popped in there is also a 3 Series Touring - that's a station wagon to you and me.
The value of all 12 is around $1.5 million. It's best not to think about this as you skid about on the snow because, if you did, you would most certainly bury one in a snowbank.
We try our hand at drifting around the snow circle; BMW head instructor Mike Eady. Photo / Simon Darby.
I, thankfully, bury nothing in the snow, though my driving is probably more "nana zone" than speed demon. I do, however, get braver as the day goes on and I become more used to the vehicles and embrace my inner bogan.
We test the BMWs' impressive slip traction control systems on an icy slope and, by turning it off, we get to "drift" in the huge snow circle ("More throttle! More throttle! Counter steer! Put your foot down!" yell the instructors), then get to jump into the rear-wheel drive M3 V8 coupe with Eady for a "hot lap".
"Hot" is right as we zoom down the snow roads at a sizzling 150km/h, with handbrake skids and pedal to the metal thrills. As I leap out of the car to let someone else have a turn I realise my face is aching from my huge grin.
Each BMW is a joy to drive - this is what a quality motor vehicle feels like to the unschooled - though, of course, they all have their differences.
I feel much more at home in each of the smaller, more manoeuvrable cars (the 320i Gran Turismo and the Touring wagon) but slower and more cumbersome in the big SUVs (the X6 3 and the X5 M Series with its 3-litre diesel engine).
Quality also means safety. While skidding around during the drifting part of the day, the seatbelts tighten, the ABS brakes kick into action and the windows close as the car realises its driver may be in danger of crashing. Just like Herbie the Love Bug, only much prettier.
The differing weights of each car are really driven (pardon the pun) home when we do our braking test - the X5 and X6 weigh about 2 tonnes, and take a few more seconds to stop than the lighter cars. That's also important to remember off the ice - on our motorways those big vehicles take longer to halt in an emergency.
The writer in the 3 Series Touring. Photo / Simon Darby.
Before lunch we have a go at ice slaloms. This is about weaving smoothly around orange cones without skidding out too much and losing control. By engaging the Sport-Plus system (over the engine's Comfort, Economy or Sport settings), you disengage traction control, allowing you to use the vehicle's rear to "swing" through the cones, and I find I'm not twisting the steering wheel, instead letting the car do the work.
Later, we do a race against the clock, and a few people get a little cocky and end up in the snowbank. Not Nana. I'm slow and steady, but I don't win the race.
My driving partner is also a bit concerned at the "hover hand" one-handed technique I decide to employ while driving the X5. Well, in retrospect, two hands are definitely better than one. We also drag race one another, which I do have some success at, and this is my favourite part of the day. Who knew I was such a petrolhead? It is brilliant fun and completely safe, as long as you follow the instructions over the RT.
The day ends with a winding coach ride down the mountain hill to the famous Cardrona Hotel, where we have a pint, snacks, and swap stories.
Later, there is a prize-giving dinner where the winners of the slalom are announced and we enjoy a wonderful meal at Millbrook Resort. Two ladies in our group are among the top three fastest drivers of the day - girl power indeed!
I'm saving up for next year already and I am going to WIN.
• Shandelle Battersby was a guest of BMW New Zealand.
