The ‘sandwich’ generation is spread too thin between care and career: Professor Gary Martin opinion

Although many people undertake their responsibilities without complaint, being the meat in the sandwich can be grilling. Photo / 123RF

Are you wondering why some of your previously upbeat and energetic colleagues are looking so frazzled and run-down these days?

They might be part of growing group of people dubbed “the sandwich generation” – those “sandwiched” or spread thinly between the dual responsibilities of supporting their growing children and ageing parents at the same time as juggling work commitments.

Providing support across more than one generation is a fast-rising trend and one that frequently compels those providing care to try to delicately balance their financial, emotional and time commitments – but in the process often push themselves to their limits.

Although many in the generation undertake their responsibilities without complaint, being the meat in the sandwich can be grilling.

The time required to undertake care, run a household and earn a living makes many in the sandwich generation feel like they are stuck on a fast-moving conveyor belt that never shuts down.

Feelings of guilt along with exhaustion and burnout are typical, sleep deprivation is common and self-care frequently falls to the bottom of their priority list.

As well as grappling with these health concerns, those providing multi-generational support can face financial strain – if their care extends to the provision of money assistance – and many experience impeded career growth if there is not adequate time available to devote to career-building activities like networking.

The sandwich generation itself is not a new concept though its presence is being amplified by a number of modern-day circumstances.

While advances in healthcare and medical treatment have made longer lives possible – which is a positive development – it also means that many individuals with chronic health conditions are living longer and require a slice of their adult children’s time.

On top of that, many individuals are delaying parenthood until later in life, which means they might still have dependent children at home at the same time as their ageing parents require care.

It is also true that the cost-of-living crisis has meant children who might have normally left the family home by now are remaining put for much longer.

Even though older offspring are often relatively independent, they demand at least some care from their parents when living under the same roof. Even a little bit of support for the offspring can pile on the pressure when the care assistance has to be extended to elderly parents as well.

While the term sandwich generation has generally been applied to adults – and mostly adult women – who are thinly spread because they are providing support for both children and elderly parents, it is increasingly being used to describe anyone who assists both a younger loved one and an older person at the same time.

This “multi-layered” or “club” sandwich generation might include individuals who are taking care of ageing parents and still supporting adult children who have moved out of the family home or those who are looking after their ageing parents and helping out with their grandchildren at the same time.

Slicing the data to determine exactly how many adults are members of the sandwich generation is a crusty challenge.

But a quick straw poll of extended family members, neighbours, friends and colleagues will reveal the full – and growing – extent of this modern-day challenge facing many in our community.

While family situations vary enormously, experts suggest that there is some standard bread-and-butter advice for those in the sandwich generation.

They advocate that carers set boundaries about what they can reasonably do and cannot do and mentally prepare themselves to say “no” to additional commitments when they are completely overstretched.

Also recommended is an acceptance that, at times, those in the sandwich generation might need to be more present in their children’s lives and – on other occasions – in their elderly parents’ lives. This recognition underscores the importance of flexibility and adaptability in navigating the complex demands of caregiving.

During more demanding caregiving periods, it is generally agreed that it becomes crucial to prioritise tasks and seek support from other family members, friends and even neighbours. This collaborative approach not only eases the burden on an individual but ensures that all members of the family can contribute to the wellbeing of both the younger and older generations.

Employers often fail to recognise that dedicated employees wear a number of hats in the workplace – and outside of it, too.

Importantly, experts suggest that those in the sandwich generation discuss their situation with the employer, who might be willing to offer additional flexibility including remote working, later or earlier start and finishing times and additional paid or unpaid personal leave.

Yet perhaps the best advice for those in the sandwich generation is to remember that human beings were never designed to be productive every minute of the day – so they should resist trying to be so.

After all, failure to recognise one’s own productivity limitations can create the risk that they will end up as “toast” – or worse still, burnt toast.

Professor Gary Martin is a workplace and social affairs expert from Australia.