For Prime Minister John Key's visit, a local's Honda Odyssey turns into a Crown car.
The school playground has been redeployed as a rental campervan return yard, the playing field at the Kaikoura Rugby Club has become a chopper landing site.
Instead of whale watchers, the ocean awaits an influx of battleships from allies.
At Civil Defence HQ Key grabs a piece of homemade banana cake and the women worry it is stale because it was made pre-quake.
Much of the attention has gone into getting tourists out in the days after the quake.
The main aim of Key's visit now is to reassure those who will stay behind once they have gone - the local businesses who are praying those tourists will return.
He meets with tourism operators, motel owners, farmers, the local bank, a cheese maker who has appeared on Country Calendar.
Ian Croucher, a charter boat operator, observes the town is dependent on tourism.
"I'm your minister," Key says, referring to his role as Tourism Minister. "I'm not much bloody good to you at the moment," he adds.
"Oh, you're going to be real good to us," Croucher replies.
Key sets out what the Government can do - a special assistance package similar to that used after Christchurch to help to retain staff until things start to recover, tax relief, and possible emergency legislation to bypass resource consent processes for dredging.
When he begins he says the Government has no plans for emergency legislation. By the time he ends he is assuring them of widespread support for it, and saying "If we have to do it, we'll do it," to a round of applause.
They set out their troubles. They rely on tourism, 80 per cent of it international. The tourism season has just begun and now looks very bleak indeed.
Nobody can get in or out and the road north could take months to fix if not longer.
On the helicopter, Key pointed out one stretch of that highway to Transport Minister Simon Bridges and said it looked as if the entire mountain had moved and he could not see how it could be put back together again.
There were concerns about the quake raising the sea bed.
The business owners also worry that the quake will put people off returning to Kaikoura and they want his help getting the right messages out.
He assures them he knows the importance of that - it was the same for Christchurch. He does not put a gloss on it, warning them some international markets will be more sensitive to the quake than others.
There are lighter moments - laughter and a few claps when he tells them Donald Trump has passed on his best wishes and more laughter when Key proposes "chucking Richie McCaw in a boat" off the coast for a promotional video.
But the worry is far greater. Glen Orsmby says Key's visit was reassuring.
"But summer's coming up. It should be our busiest period and what do we do?"
Outside farmer Simon Mackle and Fonterra's area manager Mike Hennessy talk to Key about the difficulties getting milk and cows out, and water and fuel in.
There has been some good news for farmers in the rise in milk prices at the auction overnight. They celebrate briefly - Hennessy had not heard the news - but Kaikoura farmers' cows can not be milked and if they are, there is no way to get the milk out.
Honeymooners Kurt and Kailah Sapwell are on their way back to Perth after returning to New Zealand to get married. Being marooned in a quake zone is not exactly a luxury honeymoon, but they do not seem disturbed. "We had a place to stay and food and water, so all good."
One woman tells him her parents want her to return home. A Scottish tourist tells Key New Zealand is "like Scotland on steroids." He is looking forward to a shower, but admits his holiday is "one to remember."
British women, Marion Middleton, Sue Gildersleve and Gill Goodrich, tell Key they don't have earthquakes in the UK.
"We say we've taken on New Zealand's ultimate experience. We'll be able to dine out on this." They even thank him. They are full of praise for the locals' efforts and civil defence - and a little shamefaced by the complaining from some of their fellow countryfolk.
They intend to donate to Red Cross once they've returned to England. "They've been so wonderful. So can we say thank you to the New Zealand people. It was frightening, but the ultimate experience and we lived through it."
Jonathan Deturk and Emma Lindberg from Oregon, USA are hoping to get to a friend at Christchurch.
"Oh," Key says and laughs. "You'll be swapping earthquake stories."
Then he remembers his messaging: "We're not quite as earthquake prone as it sounds. We're just having a very bad run at the moment. Thanks for coming to New Zealand!"
To each, he winds up with a cheery "don't worry, we'll get you out."
By tonight, all are expected to have been evacuated by the HMNZS Canterbury.
Then Key will have to make his promises a reality for those left behind.