We bet GM wishes it was that easy.
We are the world
• The small (and fantastically named) town of Waldo, Florida, has only seven police officers, yet between them they collected almost US$400,000 ($480,792) in speeding fines last year. This sparked an investigation into speed traps and ticket quotas, with the latter being illegal in Florida. The police chief and his immediate successor were both suspended and could face charges over the scandal.
But who blew the whistle on the scam? It was actually the front-line police officers who complained to the Waldo city council about the quotas they were being forced into.
• Poor old Vladimir Putin. Not only does he have the entire world on his back over this whole messy Ukraine business, now he has suffered possibly the most damning indictment on his character.
Bernie Ecclestone, Formula One supremo, expert at escaping bribery charges by paying more bribes and possibly the worst person on the planet, has referred to Putin as "a nice guy", "trustworthy" and "easy to deal with" following discussions about the possibility of a Russian F1 race. You pretty much know you are an awful person if Bernie likes you.
Cunning fake plate draws attention
Picture / Massachusetts State Police
A state police trooper in Chicopee, Massachusetts, pulled over Jahanna Baez-Rodriguez recently after noticing something was a little out of the ordinary about her number plate.
Perhaps that is because it was made out of cardboard and the letters were all drawn on by hand. It may have been something else, but The Good Oil is betting it was the whole cardboard/hand drawn thing.
If you look at the photo, we think you will agree that it was a damn fine attempt for a 5-year-old. Unfortunately Baez-Rodriguez is 20.
Critical assessment of her technique aside, artistic effort and "at least she gave it a go" count for little when it comes to the law, and attaching a fake number plate to a car is generally illegal pretty much everywhere.
Baez-Rodriguez wasn't arrested, but she was issued a summons to appear in court to answer charges of driving with a suspended licence and attaching false plates.
How about a charge of "bringing down the collective IQ of the human race just by existing ... "
Making his marque part 2
Following our story last week about Jaguar designer Ian Callum having his own interpretation of a classic Mark 2 Jaguar built, the company that did the actual building - Classic Motor Cars Limited (CMC) - has announced it will produce a limited run of the Callum-ised classic.
"The car was only unveiled to the public just over a week ago but has attracted interest from all over the world," CMC chairman Peter Neumark told Autoblog.com.
"In my remarks at the launch of the car I said that we would love to build more.
"Within hours we had received calls from people all over the globe asking if they could buy one. We asked Ian Callum if we could produce a limited run and he has said 'yes'."
Callum said: "I wasn't sure how it would be received but I have been astounded and delighted with the response. I am pleased that a few more cars are going to be built."
The cars will cost £350,000 to £375,000 ($680,230 to $728,820) and buyers will be able to have their choice of colours.
Tailgate troubles
It seems there is something of a crime wave happening in the Good Ol' US of A at the moment and it is one that is hitting rednecks right in their most precious of places - their tailgates.
The impressive-sounding National Insurance Crime Bureau, otherwise known as the NICB (no doubt in the hope of inspiring a gritty insurance-based crime drama TV series) has released figures showing that tailgate thefts have jumped by 31 per cent across the US in the last year.
They have rocketed from 831 in 2012 up to 1090 in 2013. The stolen tailgates are either used as replacement parts or sold as scrap metal.
According to the survey, Texas is the main hotbed of tailgate-related criminal activity with 752 thefts, with Houston being the city with the highest rate (145).
The NICB recommends an aftermarket security device - such as a hinge locking system - for protection, but surely a couple of mangy dogs, a 90kg toothless wife and a big-ass gun would do the trick just as well.
Collision for the cameras
Random nudity, fake murders, wandering tigers, a man with a cat on his head - is there any end to the weird wonders that Google Street View has provided us with?
Apparently not, because a new one has popped up that shows humanity at its stupidest and most resilient yet again. This time it is a very stupid, but equally lucky motorcyclist in Blumenau, Brazil.
The series of Street View shots shows an aggressively ridden trail bike take a very bad line through traffic only to run smack into the back of a small hatchback, sending the rider - who was wearing only a T-shirt, shorts and jandals (but at least a helmet) - skating down the road like a character in a flick book of skin-removing hilarity.
He doesn't stay down long though, and is very quickly back on his feet and collecting his bike, making it painfully obvious he was not only aware of the Street View camera car, but was also most likely showing off for it.
Number Crunching
28 MILLION
The number of cars recalled so far by General Motors in the faulty ignition switch recall.
14 MILLION
The number of cars recalled by Ford in the 2009 cruise control switch fire hazard recall.
6.67 MILLION
The number of cars recalled by Toyota during the 2010 unintended acceleration recall.
1 CAR
The number recalled by Koenigsegg recently for a faulty tyre pressure sensor ...
