Diana, a terminal breast cancer patient who is being helped by Hospice, encourages people to talk about dying. Photo / Pic by Kim Moodie
Diana, a terminal breast cancer patient who is being helped by Hospice, encourages people to talk about dying. Photo / Pic by Kim Moodie
"Most people are more frightened of dying then they are of death."
That's the view of palliative medicine specialist doctor Rod MacLeod, who says death isn't always as scary as it's portrayed.
MacLeod is the voice of a new Hospice campaign that aims to get people more comfortable talking about dying - so they won't worry about it as much when the time comes.
The campaign, #We Need to Talk About Dying, includes YouTube videos with Hospice patients, families whose loved ones have died in Hospice and palliative care specialists.
MacLeod says most New Zealanders' idea of dying was shaped by films and television programmes which often show dying as a traumatic, sudden experience or involving CPR compression.
"In Hospice, what we try to encourage is for people to be at the bedside to witness that long, slow, gentle dying, which is more the norm."
The campaign aims to reduce the "death anxiety" people feel about dying.
MacLeod says part of that comes from learning about the process, so the palliative care team focus on explaining and treating the symptoms of the body shutting down.
"Nobody knows what happens when you're dead but we do know very clearly what happens when you're dying, so that's the immediate concern.
"What we often do is talk people through that and explain what's going to happen, so that provides a degree of comfort."
Most patients are scared of being in pain, which is often the easiest thing for the care team to reduce and manage, he says.
A Hospice campaign is encouraging people to talk about dying to remove the fear factor. Photo / Hospice
Terminal cancer patient Diana, who wants only her first name used, said being under Hospice's care has made the difficult journey slightly easier for her.
The Auckland woman was diagnosed with breast cancer on her 66th birthday after a routine mammogram showed a lump.
That was six years ago and after having both breasts removed she returned to work after chemotherapy and radiation treatment. It later spread to her lower back and she needed more radiation. She is now terminal.
"I haven't had respite and I'm not looking for sympathy," she said. "It's been a hard journey."
Harbour Hospice has been helping Diana to manage pain caused by a lesion at the bottom of her spine since October 2016. She describes that palliative care as "a blessing".
"A lot of people do think its somewhere that you come to die but for me it's getting my meds sorted, accepting it, my body accepting what I'm taking, and knowing that the team are around me to help."
She's found asking questions and knowing about the medications she is taking has given her peace of mind, as well as ownership over her choices in pain relief.
"It's the fear of the unknown. You don't know when you're journey's going to end and when the Lord's gonna call you home. And no one does."
She advised anyone in her situation to seek help.
"Ask questions and remember that you are in control of what you take and what you're given. Have faith in your doctor team and your nurse team.
"Without the Hospice, I would be lost. I don't have a mother and father. I don't have brothers and sisters; my aunts and uncles have passed away. I'm grateful for the family that they provide for me."
More than 18,000 families are supported by Hospice services both before and after the death of a loved one each year.
