* 1 Pray really hard for fine weather - a few showers are forecast.
* 2 Get into town early and find a parking space, or strike up an instant friendship with someone who works in a building overlooking the parade route. Get yourself invited to the parade party on their balcony.
* 3 Bring a picnic lunch and find a spot in Albert Park. Avoid sitting over one of the old ventilation shafts, which have been known to subside.
* 4 Find out where the public toilets are. For example, most carpark buildings have them, and there are some at the bottom of Wyndham St, in Customs St (only open for large events); in Albert, Myers and Victoria Parks; and in Aotea Square.
* 5 Take plenty of water. But not too much. (See 4, above)
* 6 Take your own lollies, in case your little dears miss out on Santa's largesse.
* 7 Tell the children that the blue line painted on the streets in the parade route is magic, and that they will turn into frogs if they go over it.
* 8 Wear a grumpy look. Your children are probably used to it, but other kids will be repelled and give you space.
* 9 Take hats and sunblock, and a spare pair of shoes for yourself. Amazing how this helps when you've been standing and walking all day.
* 10 Go to Wellington for the weekend. Or Invercargill. Or Hamilton. Or anywhere.
Ten ways to survive the Santa parade
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