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The woman who accused former league star Tea Ropati of rape has revealed how his family's behaviour at court made her mentally strong to give evidence on the stand.
Speaking exclusively in this week's New Zealand Woman's Weekly, the woman also reveals the devastating impact of the trial and the personal trauma she's endured over the past 18 months.
The woman says she was not fazed as she came face to face with members of the Ropati family in a court waiting area.
"I walked out and looked at each of them as they tried to stare me down," she told the magazine. "They didn't faze me, they did me a favour.
I wanted them to know that they didn't intimidate me and didn't deserve to take my energy. So I want to thank them for preparing me to be in court with Ropati."
After an eight-day trial, Ropati was acquitted on Thursday on three charges of sexual violation, including one count of rape, and three charges of attempted sexual violation. The charges arose from a night drinking at a Ponsonby bar on June 15, 2006.
The prosecution case had been that Ropati had taken advantage of a woman who was so drunk that night she could never have consented to engaging in sexual activity with him.
The defence, however, maintained that what took place between the woman, who has permanent name suppression, and Ropati was consensual - and that Ropati had stopped short of having intercourse with the woman on account of feeling guilty about cheating on his wife.
The woman describes herself in the New Zealand Woman's Weekly as "a career woman in her 30s, from a good family, with self-respect and intelligence". She said in spite of the not guilty verdict she was not "bitter or vengeful" towards Ropati. She was "healing and growing now", and "I'm a stronger woman for this court case.
"My only regret about all this is how drunk I got that night. Nobody regrets that more than me."
She said she was still undergoing counselling and hoped eventually to reclaim the time she had lost since the allegations surfaced. She had also made significant lifestyle changes since that night in June 2006.
"I do not go out much. I hardly drink now, and I haven't wanted to. I haven't felt safe. I have a fear of intimacy. I wanted to try and find that special person and have children, but I've had to put that on hold for at least 18 months," she said.
"I've been robbed of that time, but I don't feel like damaged goods. Thanks to the love and support of my family and friends, I will get that time back. I've closed off that episode of my life and I've moved on."
However, she wanted to stress the night she met Ropati she was not some "22-year-old rugby groupie" who had been star-struck by his status as a former top league player. "I work a lot with well-known people and I'm not affected by their high profiles. They are just ordinary people to me," she said.
"I didn't even know who Tea Ropati was. I know I was flirting with him, but I wasn't doing anything wrong."
She told the magazine she had few memories from that night, and, at one stage, had even considered seeing a hypnotist in the hope it might help her recall more detail about what occurred with Ropati.
She did remember returning home that night in a hysterical state and her brother calling the police.
She also recalled being taken to hospital where she underwent a three-hour physical examination where doctors looked for any physical evidence of sexual assault.
"They swabbed every bit of my body, trying to get samples of saliva off my skin. My sister had to shower me after, I was so upset. As she was dressing me, I said, 'I just want to die.' That's what I felt," she said.
Despite everything, she was pleased the case had gone to court and hoped it made people think about their behaviour when they were drinking in public.
"I did my part and I'm proud of that. I took it as far as I could, following the right, legal route.
"I'm talking about it now because I want to say thank you to friends, family, my boss, the police, the counsellors, and the doctors.
"It has been worthwhile. To me, if this trial makes men think twice about women who are drunk, if it makes one person put a drunk woman in a taxi rather than letting her fend for herself, or even makes a woman think twice about getting drunk, then the ordeal has been worth it and I'm happy I went through with it.
"We need to look out for each other as human beings. I wish, more than anything, that I could have put myself in a taxi earlier that night."
The woman's family also spoke out, saying they were "astounded and devastated by the verdict".
They were critical of claims by Ropati's lawyer Gary Gotlieb that the case was weak and was only pursued by police because of Ropati's notoriety as a league player.
They added they were "extremely proud" of the courage she'd shown throughout the 18-month ordeal.
The interview with the woman appears in this week's Woman's Weekly.