Luring someone to teach at the "ends of the earth" is never a simple task, but parents on remote Stewart Island say the bureaucrats are not making their quest any easier.
The island at the bottom of New Zealand lost its last early childhood teacher in November, and is trying to find a replacement for its 12 "Rakiura Rugrats" aged under 5 (and another seven on the way).
Efforts to convince someone to leave the comforts of the mainland for a sparsely populated southern wilderness have so far proved fruitless.
The new teacher can expect to find a largely unspoilt island, 1746sq km in size, supporting only about 400 people, with harsh winters averaging 9C.
The island wants to be classified as a "hard-to-staff" area by the Ministry of Education, to get the benefit of support such as subsidies, but so far the ministry is refusing.
"Most hard-to-staff areas will be smaller isolated rural areas, I would have thought," said Rakiura Rugrats secretary and parent Jo Learmonth.
"But Auckland is on the list ... so go figure."
The ministry says Stewart Island, as part of Southland, does not meet the hard-to-staff criteria.
While the island had been granted an exemption in 2008, allowing it to receive a relocation grant for a new teacher, "the ministry is not currently in a position to offer them another exemption", said Karl Le Quesne, group manager of early childhood education for the ministry.
Mrs Learmonth said the parents on the island had probably made it hard on themselves by insisting their kids had an early childhood education centre rather than just a daycentre or playcentre.
"But as parents, we are quite strong in our opinion that because [the children] live here, they shouldn't get any different education to anywhere else in New Zealand."
Mrs Learmonth said a common perception was that Stewart Island was a backwater with nothing to offer. But this was wrong.
"It's a natural paradise, a diving, hunting, tramping mecca, a growing tourism area with up-to-date broadband communications, and a fabulous place to be a kid all year."
The person sought to fill the teaching vacancy at the centre would need to be "a fun teacher who embraces the island lifestyle, involves community and respects their natural and cultural heritage".
The job is part-time or "20-something hours a week".
Those interested can email rakiurarugrats@xtra.co.nz.
Teacher wanted, must like island life
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