His father was there, standing over him with a cricket bat. He told him it was a grave for either the boy or his mother, and that the boy must choose who was to end up in it.
This “chilling” incident, as described by Judge Robert Spear, was only one in a string of savage beatings a now 58-year-old Taranaki man subjected his former partner and their son to for more than a decade.
These include the woman being run down by the man, and being strangled with a chain he wrapped around her neck.
The man, who cannot be named so the identity of the now 14-year-old boy remains protected, was sentenced in New Plymouth District Court last week.
Judge Spear said the court dealt with domestic violence almost daily but this case was among the worst he had ever seen.
“I have to tell you, this is domestic violence at almost another level, another level beyond what unfortunately I have almost become used to,” he told the man.
“It is monstrous behaviour on your part.”
But in the face of what the woman and her son have suffered, she has reclaimed her future.
“Despite the darkness that has clouded over my life for so long, I have refused to let it define me,” she said in her victim impact statement, read on her behalf in court as she stood, supported by her son.
“I am more than a victim, I am a survivor. And today as I stand before you, I am reclaiming my voice and speaking out, not just for myself but for every person who has suffered in silence at the hands of their abuser like I did.”
The woman later told NZME that while it was overwhelming, facing her abuser is helping to close that harrowing chapter of her life.
“A lot of weight has lifted,” she said.
Although in court she detailed 14 years of black eyes, broken bones and bruises, the man was only sentenced on six admitted charges.
The charges relating to the woman were wounding with intent to cause grievous bodily harm (GBH), assault with a weapon, injuring with intent to injure, and a representative charge of threatening to kill. With respect to the boy, they were GBH with the intention to cause GBH and injuring with intent to injure.
The man pleaded guilty to those charges before the case went to a sentencing indication. Twelve further charges were then dismissed.
What he has admitted to was read aloud by Judge Spear. The mother and son comforted each other as the details filled the eerily silent courtroom. The man continued to turn in the dock to look at them, only stopping when he was warned to face the front.
‘Standing over him with a cricket bat’
It was heard there have been several occasions where the man threatened to kill the woman, including by cutting her up and burying her.
One episode of violence occurred at a property in Hāwera, South Taranaki, when the man asked the woman to come to the house and look after their son so he could go to work.
When she arrived he grabbed her, punched and kicked her and dragged her along the floor. He made her take off her jersey and then put his hands around her throat and strangled her. He then got a chain and wrapped it around her neck, cutting off her breathing again.
The man was sentenced in New Plymouth District Court last week. Photo / Tara Shaskey
In a later incident, in early 2022, they were at a park in Hāwera when the man became angry with the woman. He got into his car and drove into her, knocking her to the ground. After she got up, he drove the car at her again, causing her to lean on the bonnet to stop herself from falling under it.
The following year, in January 2023, the man made the woman sit on the bathroom floor while he had a shower. He probed her with questions, threatening her with fly spray, saying her would spray her if she lied to him.
He went on to spray her eyes with it and punch her head and body, threatening that if she did not “tell him the truth”, she would be dead in the morning.
On this occasion their son called the police, adding to the many family-harm callouts the police have recorded in relation to the family.
The boy told the court about his childhood memories of witnessing violence being perpetrated by his father against his mother.
But he was not spared from physical harm.
Judge Spear spoke about a time in 2019 when the man dug a grave for either the boy or his mother.
“He [the boy] fell asleep, he wasn’t sure what caused him to fall asleep except that he felt unwell, and he put himself to bed,” the judge said.
“He woke up the next morning, lying on the grass next to a freshly dug hole in the ground.
“The hole was about six feet long and about six feet deep. He had dirt scattered on him.”
“You [the man] were standing over him with a cricket bat. You told him the grave was for him or his mother, and for that 10-year-old boy to choose who was to end up in it.”
He was left battered and bruised after his father proceeded to kick his body, punch his face and use the cricket bat to strike him.
In 2021, the boy was at home with his father and mother. The man had been drinking and grabbed the boy by his arm and asked him to give him money to purchase more alcohol.
He dragged his son to the kitchen and forced his arm onto a hot stove element, leaving it there for four seconds before taking it off and asking him again for money.
In her victim impact statement, the woman said they had lived in constant fear and uncertainty, not knowing when the next outburst would be.
She said the years have been marked by not only physical pain but also emotional trauma that has left scars deeper than any physical wounds.
The man subjected his family to more than a decade of physical, psychological and emotional abuse.
The abuse had shattered her sense of self-worth, left her feeling powerless and trapped, and robbed her of her autonomy and trust.
She said the physical wounds had now healed but the psychological trauma remained etched on her soul.
Judge Spear commended the mother and son for their bravery.
“It should never be underestimated how difficult it is for a complainant to stand up in a courtroom full of people and explain what goes on behind closed doors,” he said.
In sentencing the man, the judge said several reports had been provided to assist him, including an extensive presentence report that stated the man had not expressed remorse or accountability.
It said he took issue with aspects of the summary of facts but admitted he was “totally out of control” and was addicted to methamphetamine and would often go days without sleep.
He told the report writer he had “never touched a hair on my son” and claimed he only pleaded guilty so his son did not have to go through court.
The judge told the man he was in denial.
“I totally reject any suggestion that this offending did not happen.”
Another report said the man grew up in an environment of heavy drinking. His own use of alcohol and cannabis began when he was 13, with a progression to methamphetamine abuse in his 20s.
“Once again, this court sees someone whose life has been ruined by methamphetamine and unfortunately it has caused trauma that you have subjected both your ex-partner and your son to, and which will never leave them,” the judge said.
He concluded the offending was undoubtedly serious and aggravated by the strangulation, use of weapons, punches to the head, and the “chilling experience” of having a grave dug and being threatened to be put into it.
But he accepted the man was remorseful.
“Now in the sober light of day having spent time in prison, you suddenly realise the harm that you have done.”
The judge took a total start point of 17 years’ imprisonment and then uplifted it by a year for the man’s previous family violence-related convictions, one of which resulted in a home detention sentence in 2019.
He then gave credit for guilty pleas, remorse and background factors.
In jailing the man for 12 years and seven months, the judge said offending such as this needed to be marked with a sentence appropriate to the crimes.
He found it also called for a minimum period of imprisonment of six years.
“You need to be held fully to account for what you have done and society, through this court, needs to express its outrage in that your ex-partner and your son have been subjected to such a life over so many years.”
Speaking to NZME after the sentencing, the woman said she was pleased with the outcome.
“He’s in there for a long time and it’s more than what I expected him to get.
She and her son were now focused on healing, which counselling is assisting them with.
Glimpses were returning of the bubbly, sporty and social child the teen once was but the woman said she was allowing him to set the pace.
Looking forward, the pair were excited about an upcoming holiday and likely plans to start afresh in a new location.
“We’ve got a new chapter.”
Tara Shaskey joined NZME in 2022 as a news director and Open Justice reporter. She has been a reporter since 2014 and previously worked at Stuff covering crime and justice, arts and entertainment, and Māori issues.
