Tackling imposter syndrome

By JULIE MIDDLETON

These are the words of a high-flying corporate woman. You probably know her: she's a chief executive officer with a high public profile.

We'll call her Mary. She isn't going to identify herself, because her board bosses, she says, would probably haemorrhage in shock.

Mary, 48, admits that she was plagued by self-doubt, angst and feelings that she was an intellectual fraud as she clambered up the career ladder. The sensations intensified the higher her profile became.

"I lived in almost daily fear of being found out," she says.

For what? "Not being good enough or being a fraud - I never really figured out which, and it often alternated."

She also feared "losing the successes I'd gained because I didn't trust that they could be sustainable".

That is a familiar story to 41-year-old editor Cassie, recalling her first position of responsibility, in magazine production 10 years ago.

"No matter how much praise was heaped on me - by the editor, the publishers, my colleagues, my staff, whoever - I couldn't see that I was doing well," she says.

"All I could see was the failings: the time I lost the film; the time I lost my temper and yelled; the times we missed deadlines by five minutes.

"There was this nagging voice all the time: sooner or later they're going to realise I'm not qualified for the job.

"I didn't see the times I averted crises, the times I helped staff with problems they couldn't solve."

This negative spiral has a name - imposter syndrome. It has been defined as a persistent and pervasive lack of belief in one's competency, skill or intelligence despite solid evidence to the contrary; fears of intellectual fraudulence, particularly among high achievers; the belief that one does not deserve career success, that others have been deceived into thinking well of you; and the fear that accomplishments are due to charm, fate, or luck.

Mary and Cassie aren't alone in their reluctance to attach their names to these feelings.

Who willingly confesses weaknesses to the office piranha pool? Especially when even the stonkingly successful still succumb.

Here's actress Kate Winslet, speaking two years ago: "Sometimes I wake up in the morning before going off to a shoot and I think, I can't do this; I'm a fraud. They're going to fire me - all these things. I'm fat; I'm ugly ... "

As you might have gathered from the gender of the confessors so far, it's a mainly female thing - but men can suffer from imposter syndrome too.

The condition was first given a name by American psychologists Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanne Imes in their 1978 study The Imposter Phenomenon among High Achieving Women.

Among the 150 women they studied, each new achievement and subsequent challenge served only to intensify an ever-present feeling of dread.

Psychologists say this debilitating condition is rooted in socialisation, the way girls and boys are brought up.

Despite gains that have been made towards a more equitable society, says University of Auckland clinical psychologist John Read, "the gender roles thing still goes on - we still treat and boys and girls differently. Women are taught to put others' needs first and to be more self-effacing".

Adds colleague Graham Vaughan: "It's drilled into women that they're in a male world, and they buy into that."

Studies, they say, also suggest that those more susceptible did not receive encouragement to pursue career or educational goals seen as out of line with parental expectations of what men and women of certain backgrounds do.

Also at risk are those whose families imposed unrealistic standards.

Several of the women who discussed their fears identified a perceived lack of education as fuelling their self-flagellation.

"I was too busy doing it to learn about it - and I always though that better educated people achieved more than I could," says Mary.

Cassie pinpoints her parents' lack of educational self-esteem: "My parents are very intelligent people, but have never thought they were - working class family, higher education was a waste and for other people - and of course, they passed it on to their children."

The strands feeding imposter syndrome can be insidious and lurk outside as well as within, says Vaughan.

For example, a woman working in a male-dominated industry in a role seen as intrinsically male - say, as the head of a car manufacturer - might be less likely to believe she is any good at it.

Imposter syndrome can also affect a group, says Vaughan, "if there is some perceived status difference - educational, ethnic, occupational, or if there's some sort of power hierarchy".

The feelings that contribute to imposter syndrome, says Read, happen to some of us some of the time, and it's sometimes appropriate.

"But if you get stuck in a pattern where you can't feel proud about your achievements ... there is a problem."

And that way lies depression. Humans in general, says Read, possess what psychologists call a "self-serving bias".

"In general, when we succeed, we're more likely to attribute that to ourselves. When we fail, we are more likely to attribute that to external events.

"We all need this self-serving bias. It's a healthy defence against some of the bad stuff that goes on in our lives."

But if you continually deny your own contribution, depression can be the result. Women, again, are more susceptible, says Read.

But surprisingly, psychologist Stewart Forsyth says a certain amount of masquerade - and he doesn't mean the John Davy kind - has its uses in career growth.

That's because there's a time lag between learning new skills and feeling confident using them, he says, and talking yourself up in the meantime is not a bad move.

"Typically, our view of our self-efficacy takes a little time to catch up with the actual skill development - an example of attitude lag," he says.

Bridging the gap swiftly "is usually achieved more successfully with mental rehearsal - visualisation or review with a coach or mentor, and practice in less demanding environments like the mirror, or the car, or a role-play with colleagues".

But, he adds: "It's harder for those who are trailblazers, because there are fewer affirming role models and mentors."

* Do you suffer from imposter syndrome? Check out this web test: Do You Feel Like An Imposter?