Synchronised swimming: More than synchro grinning

By PETER JESSUP

Synchronised swimming is the only sport where you have to smile when you know you've performed poorly, you have to smile when you lose, you have to smile even if you know a team-mate cost you a medal.

Can it be that there is no cattiness amongst the competitors?

Uniformity has been taken to a new level at the synchro competition in Sydney, the Aussies leading the way by ensuring they are all similarly bronzed. Three team members have been applying fake tan lotion, two others taking time in a solarium to try to attain the same skin colour as the darker swimmers.

"It's important to our finals swim," said Asian-background Naomi Young. "It's not necessarily that we all have to be brown, but some of us are brown and you can't reverse that to white."

Team-mate Katrina Orpwood said the browning included hair colour.

"Appearance is very important, and while it might not earn extra points from the judges, it contributes to the principle of synchronisation by making us appear more alike. First impressions count."

The Russians have all grown their hair long so as to have identical buns. All teams have taken to wearing gaudy, overdone, waterproof make-up. They all stuck to nationalistic themes yesterday, the Americans with a cowpoke, line-dancing, train-driven routine, the Japanese entering the pool with a martial arts kick to a piece of music called Karate, the Russians producing a cossack-type kicking performance, the Italians an operatic tragedy.

Canadian Claire Dias-Carver tried to explain theirs, called Madness: "It's a journey through the mind of someone who is mad. We start with more of a dark serious side and then there's the section where there's voices and we have a bit of fear in our eyes and a bit of confusion and then it goes completely 'I've lost it but I'm enjoying myself' type of craziness."

It lost me. Enjoyment? Not really. And how come there are no blokes? Some of the male netballers might want something to do in the off-season.

The Russians are the new force in synchro swimming after total domination by the defending Olympic champions the United States and Canada up to now, the two north American countries sharing every silver and gold awarded since the event came into the Games in Los Angeles in 1984.

The Russians have four of their nine team members returning after Atlanta, the US none, and the States have compounded their problems by trying two new routines in the technical and the free.

After yesterday's start in the technical, where each of the eight qualified teams had to go through a routine that included 10 set elements, Russia were leading the competition with 34.58 points from the Japanese on 34.51 and Canada on 33.78, the United States sixth on 33.02.

"We are expecting gold because of all the work we've done," said Russian Yulia Vasilieva. "We're the best in the world, we always have been."

The technical routine accounts for 35 per cent of overall points, with today's free routine making up the other 65 per cent.

The synchro drew around 13,000 people yesterday and thus is clearly the least crowd-attractive sport that has been on in the pool.

Or maybe the locals have started believing the joke that it's the spectators who get drug-tested at the synchro swimming.

There is a lot to recommend it, though. The energy and training required to eggbeat around with the legs while dancing with the upper half of the body out of the water, or conversely to paddle around upside down with the legs poking out, makes it one of the most demanding of sports.

You can't help but wonder why this adaptation of the old Esther Williams water theatre modernised by the Canadians is at the Games.

Only 70 countries of the 200 here participate. But if pro-tennis is in, why not synchro swimming?

At least all its competitors had the good grace to turn up.