Before Brexit, when Boris Johnson was London Mayor, he colourfully wrote in the Daily Telegraph. “Let us suppose you are losing an argument ... Your best bet in these circumstances is to perform a manoeuvre that a great campaigner describes as ‘throwing a dead cat on the table, mate!’… The key point, says my Australian friend, is that everyone will shout ‘Jeez, mate, there’s a dead cat on the table!’; in other words they will be talking about the dead cat, the thing you want them to talk about, and they will not be talking about the issue that has been causing you so much grief.”
Dead cats have masked crime, underperforming public services, truancy and a cost-of-living crisis. Compensation for the never-ending central Auckland Rail Tunnel is a sickening dead cat proving Ronald Reagan right. The 10 most terrifying words in the English language are: “Hi, I’m from the government and I’m here to help.” How does a pedestrian crossing cost $485,000?
One dead cat we can put to bed is the work ethic of young Kiwis. They’re excellent. I cannot say that about the 3.9 per cent minority on the dole. When I’ve taken a punt, some don’t turn up and some others seem chemically distracted. The new Government has its work cut out to elevate work above the dole.
In October, Rural Contractors NZ, the Meat Industry Association and BusinessNZ called on Immigration NZ to lift its game. It hasn’t. After repeat triple shifts, I’m burning out and with no senior managers locally available, I’m forced to try overseas.
To recruit you must be an “accredited employer”. I don’t mind scrutiny, but what does a $740 accreditation fee cover, if Immigration NZ approved ratbag employers? An additional $610 “job check” was an added dead cat to mask mistakes leading to approval gridlock. I’m $1350 down, not forgetting GST, for someone I needed at least two months ago.