Stress got in the way of dad's pride

By CATHERINE MASTERS

When Tino Pereira's first child was born his world lit up.

The tiny girl was the "most gorgeous bundle of life I'd ever seen" and he was an embarrassingly proud dad.

By the time the outspoken Samoan former broadcaster had his second child the pressures of having children - lack of sleep, halving of the family income - had caught up and he found himself reverting to the example he had been set in his childhood - he began smacking his first daughter.

Yesterday, on the final day of the Beyond Violence conference in New Plymouth, he urged that a section of the law allowing parents to use "reasonable force" to discipline their children be reviewed and he also asked parents to never smack their children.

There had been many times when reasonable force had not been reasonable and had led to tragedies.

"What is reasonable force and can someone tell a child that?"

In a personal address, Mr Pereira, who among other titles, is chairman of the Pacific People's Advisory Group to the Child, Youth and Family Service, told how as a child he was brought up on memories of palm trees and lagoons - and received many thrashings in the name of discipline.

"In our communities we say we are beating the shit out of you because we love you."

While he only ever smacked his first daughter, many Pacific Island families still beat their children to discipline them, but culture was no excuse for abuse.

But his wife led him to think about alternatives and his two younger children have never been smacked. "Today I'm saying smacking should not happen at all. "

Pacific Island families were beginning to talk about the issue and church ministers were even going on television talking openly and fronting up about it, he said.

"It's a start."

Herald Online feature: Violence at home

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