Lance Burdett has opened up about his experiences with depression. Photo / Greg Bowker
Lance Burdett has opened up about his experiences with depression. Photo / Greg Bowker
Warning: The following article and podcast episode discusses depression and suicidal thoughts.
Former police officer Lance Burdett was once the country's top crisis negotiator – but he has revealed that there were occasions where he was battling suicidal thoughts while trying to stop people taking their own lives.
Burdett spent 22 years with the New Zealand Police, rising to national prominence after his role in the negotiations with the Napier Siege gunman Jan Molenaar in 2009.
Since retiring from the force, Burdett has become an acclaimed author and motivational speaker, as his distance from the front lines have helped him come to terms with his own depression and suicidal thoughts.
He joined Niva Retimanu and Beatrice Faumuina on the New Zealand Herald podcast, Straight Up, to reflect on the adversity he's faced, and what people need to know when having their own dark thoughts.
Burdett said he joined the police for an "easy lifestyle", but he ended up with a "three-to-five-year sentence of depression".
"Suicide as New Zealand's lead suicide negotiator was an unusual place to be at."
He said one of his lowest moments was when he looked out the window of the police station where he was based, and had a thought that it was not high enough for him to jump off. That was the ideation that highlighted to him that things were not right.
Burdett said that he was able to hide his depression from his family, friends and colleagues until he released his book.
Lance Burdett in 2009 at the coroner's inquest after the Napier siege. Photo / File
Touching on the case he is best known for, Burdett said that when he realised the Napier siege would be a protracted event, mindfulness helped him to focus on what was happening and not letting the pressure for a quick resolution affect his decisions.
"It's about being in the moment. It's about focusing on the process. It's about one step of the time. All those things you've heard before. Just take a deep breath and [focus on] what is in front of me."
He said that he eventually quit as he had become "divorced" from the front line, and he pivoted into his own business, helping others with their resilience to tackle problems similar to his own.
Burdett said we have been wired to persevere and push on to get through the day, but instead we need to identify when we aren't feeling okay, and identify when people need our help.
"The only way to get rid of stigmas, to get rid of that reluctance, is to socialise.
"All of us who have been through this have an obligation now to tell people, to say, not that it's okay not to be okay, that's wrong – it's okay to say I'm not okay and I need help."
Where to get help: • Lifeline: 0800 543 354 (available 24/7) • Suicide Crisis Helpline: 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO) (available 24/7) • Youthline: 0800 376 633 or text 234 (available 24/7) • Kidsline: 0800 543 754 (available 24/7) • Whatsup: 0800 942 8787 (12pm to 11pm) • Depression helpline: 0800 111 757 or text 4202 (available 24/7) • Anxiety helpline: 0800 269 4389 (0800 ANXIETY) (available 24/7) • Rainbow Youth: (09) 376 4155 If it is an emergency and you feel like you or someone else is at risk, call 111.
Straight Up with Niva and Beatrice iHeartRadio, Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes come out on Saturday mornings.
