Steve Braunias: The secret diary of the reshuffles

Paul Goldsmith (left) was a winner in the National reshuffle but Phil Twyford will no longer head housing for Labour. Photos / Christine McKay, Peter Meecham

COMMENT

SIMON BRIDGES

No, look the reality is I'm comfortable with my leadership. Very, very comfortable. But I'm not here to talk about my leadership, which I'm very comfortable with.

I'm here to talk about the reshuffle. Okay? And it's fair to say that one of the winners is new finance spokesman Paul Goldsmith. Well, you all know Paul Goldsmith. There's not much I can tell you about Paul Goldsmith that you don't already know and I'd actually go so far as to say there's not much I can tell you about Paul Goldsmith full stop.

But it's not accurate to say the party reshuffle is a demotion for Judith Collins, even though she lost the infrastructure role and didn't even know about it when it was announced. No, look the important thing is that she knows about it now and I'm grateful to a reporter from the Herald for ringing her up and telling her. God, I'd love to have seen the look on her face but you can't be everywhere at once.

I was actually tied up in a meeting with Christopher Luxon. Now I know that people have been talking about Christopher stepping in and assuming leadership of the National Party but there's a long and involved process for that to happen. I told him that and he laughed out loud. It's good to have a sense of humour in politics.

I called the meeting. I turned up 30 minutes late and I did that to send him a message. But when I got to the cafe he wasn't there and I was kept waiting for 45 minutes until he swanned in. We shook hands, and he sat down first. The only trouble with that is that there was only one chair. I crouched down beside him, and we had a good chat.

New National finance spokesman Paul Goldsmith with leader Simon Bridges after the reshuffle announcement. Photo / Mark Mitchell

"Oh God," I said when I stood up again. My back, knees, and thighs were killing me. He said, "Are you okay?"

"No, look the reality is I'm comfortable," I said, with tears of pain streaming down my face. "Very, very comfortable indeed. Okay?"

JACINDA ARDERN

Phil Twyford is no longer Jacinda Ardern's Housing Minister, instead, he will be in charge of urban development. Photos / Peter Meecham

I knew where to find him. It's where he goes most nights: the Civil Defence bunker in the basement at the Beehive. It gives him privacy to work on KiwiBuild.

I entered the bunker and followed the noise of hammering. He was in a boardroom with his sleeves rolled up. There was sawdust on the floor, bags of concrete, brooms, shovels, a pickaxe, a garden hoe, a pizza box, and a window frame propped up against the wall. One of the panes had smashed, and he'd swept the broken glass into a corner.

"Phil," I said.

"I know why you're here," he said, without looking at me. "But listen. I can do this. All right? I'm nearly there. I just need a bit more time."

"Phil," I said.

"Time," he said, "and some more of these." He pointed to a concrete mixer. "I've been experimenting. Look." He walked over to it, churned the mixer, and put his hand in. "Oh," he said. Grey water dripped from his fingers. "A bit thin. But I can fix that."

"Phil," I said.