Quenched and full, Jacinda Ardern and Grant Robertson announce their housing package. Photo / Mark Mitchell
Quenched and full, Jacinda Ardern and Grant Robertson announce their housing package. Photo / Mark Mitchell
OPINION:
MONDAY
0600 hours: Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern and Finance Minister Grant Robertson meet in the Prime Minister's office to work out a package that addresses the housing crisis and order one rosehip tea, one long black, one bagel with strawberry and raspberry jam, one bagel with cream cheese, salmonand capers, and one KFC Regular Hot and Spicy Popcorn Chicken.
0900 hours: Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern and Finance Minister Grant Robertson want fresh air and walk around the block.
1015 hours: Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern and Finance Minister Grant Robertson order one camomile tea.
1030 hours: Finance Minister Grant Robertson orders one long black.
1050 hours: Finance Minister Grant Robertson orders one long black.
1100 hours: Finance Minister Grant Robertson orders one long black.
1130 hours: Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern and Finance Minister Grant Robertson want fresh air and walk around the block but head in opposite directions.
1240 hours: Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern sends out search party for Finance Minister Grant Robertson.
1310 hours: Finance Minister Grant Robertson located and returns to Prime Minister's office.
1325 hours: Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern requests Parliamentary Service locate a carpenter to repair the door to her office, which has come off its hinges and is splintered at ankle level.
1345 hours: Finance Minister Grant Robertson orders taxi to go home for a lie-down.
1346 hours: Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern cancels Finance Minister Grant Robertson's taxi.
1430 hours: Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern and Finance Minister Grant Robertson order one bourbon, one Scotch, one beer and one KFC Jumbo Bucket.
1540 hours: Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern orders one bourbon, one Scotch, one beer.
1610 hours: Finance Minister Grant Robertson orders one bourbon, one Scotch, one beer.
2320 hours: Finance Minister Grant Robertson orders taxi to go home.
2350 hours: Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern orders one KFC Jumbo Bucket.
TUESDAY
0600 hours: Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern and Finance Minister Grant Robertson meet in the Prime Minister's office to work out a package that addresses the housing crisis.
Speaker Trevor Mallard. Photo / Mark Mitchell
0900 hours: Speaker of the House Trevor Mallard pops into the Prime Minister's office to share a pot of Wild Berry Zinger herbal tea and buttered hot cross buns. He sends out for more butter because it wouldn't melt in his mouth.
WEDNESDAY
0600 hours: Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern and Finance Minister Grant Robertson meet in the Prime Minister's office to assemble their notes on the package that addresses the housing crisis, stuff a bunch of them in the bin, throw the rest in the air, let them fall where they may, and staple them in a random order to present at the press conference.
0900 hours: Speaker of the House Trevor Mallard pops into the Prime Minister's office to shine her shoes and offer his babysitting services anywhere, anytime.
THURSDAY
0800 hours: Speaker of the House Trevor Mallard pops into the Prime Minister's office and drops off freshly baked hot cross buns.
0810 hours: Speaker of the House Trevor Mallard bills Parliamentary Service for the freshly baked hot cross buns.
FRIDAY
0600 hours: Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern and Finance Minister Grant Robertson meet in the Prime Minister's office to rummage through the bin to find the notes they discarded in their package that failed to address the housing crisis.
