Steve Braunias: The secret diary of Costco

OPINION

JACINDA ARDERN

Let me be perfectly clear. The fact that there is nationwide excitement at the opening of new megastore Costco is no reflection of this Government's handling of inflation.

I understand that among the hot sales items was the food court with its hot dog and refillable soda deal for $1.99.

This Government is committed to making it easier for all Kiwis to enjoy positive outcomes on hot dogs and refillable soda deals.

I have sat up late at nights with Finance Minister Grant Robertson to go through the costings.

In turn, Grant has waited for hours outside the office of Reserve Bank Governor Adrian Orr to make gentle inquiries on the handling of interest rates.

We are all on the same page when it comes to a strong Kiwi dollar.

And that's why I am pleased to announce that this Government will roll out a families package over the next few months resulting in hot dogs and refillable soda deals for $110.99.

CHRISTOPHER LUXON

I read in the paper about a woman who flew from one end of New Zealand to the other for the opening of mega-retailer Costco this week.

She lives in Riverton but was determined to be present at the store's opening in Auckland.

I can't think of a better metaphor for the swing to the National Party.

It shows that Kiwis up and down New Zealand are in the mood for change. They've had enough of the same old options. They want to welcome a new dawn. The National Party represents that change – and we're very much a megastore.

Nicola Willis has a shelf full of really great tax cuts.

Simeon Brown has got some exciting deals going on tougher sentences for evildoers.

Judith Collins is sitting up in the attic on a rocking chair. I'm not quite sure what her deal is.

And down in the basement, in fact beneath the Earth's crust, in darkness, moving imperceptibly and with stealth, we have Sam Uffindell.

You don't want to go down to the basement. We don't talk about the basement.

But Sam is our employee of the month. Cheers, Sam!

Jacinda Ardern visits Costco to ponder hot dogs and refillable soda deals. Photo / Getty Images

KELVIN DAVIS

All I want to say about the opening of megastore Costco is that shoppers need to cross the bridge that is Te Tiriti o Waitangi from their Pākehā world into the Māori world and understand exactly why and how the Māori world operates.

It's not enough that a pack of 48 Kirkland toilet paper rolls costs $39.99.

Shoppers need to stop looking at the world from a vanilla lens.

What does it matter that two 500g blocks of Mainland unsalted butter are selling for $14.98, six cents cheaper than Pak'nSave?

I'm deeply concerned about shoppers who whakapapa to Māori, but have been raised in a Pākehā world.

We need to have that conversation and stop talking about Costco's $7.99 rotisserie chickens.

All shoppers in Aotearoa New Zealand need to take a good long look at themselves in the mirror of identity politics and make a considerable effort to understand the Māori worldview better, to embrace it, and to generally feel inferior to it.

Then and only then can we truly enjoy the hot dog and refillable soda deal for $1.99.