Jacinda Ardern, Jacinda Ardern Jacinda never fails! Oh what fun it is for Labour To cling on to her coat-tails. Dashing through the year Messing up KiwiBuild A house built here and there Wasn't enough to save poor old Phil. Oh well never mind Here's to a happy new year Jacinda is good and kind And a close friend of Stephen Colbert. Jacinda Ardern, Jacinda Ardern Jacinda all the way! As for Labour's many faults Just look the other way.
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Away in a daydream Asleep in the House The little Lord Seymour Was quiet as a mouse. The leader of Act Doesn't say boo to a goose He's a party of one Fancyfree and footloose. He's the MP for Epsom He's a representative But he doesn't have friends Takes more than he gives. 2020 will be crucial He'll have to think fast Or next year in politics Will be his very last.
Gangs had better watch out They better not bash They better not clout Or do anything rash Mr Bridges is after your vote. He's gonna crack down He's gonna get tough He's making big sounds Like "Enough is enough" Mr Bridges is after your vote. He sees gangs when he's sleeping He dreams of going to get 'em He thinks it will appeal to voters Who will make him the new PM. He'll bluster all night He'll bluster all day He'll bluster all year He'll most probably bluster today Mr Bridges is after your vote. Mr Bridges is after your vote. Mr Bridges is after your vote.
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I wish you a beautiful Christmas I wish you a beautiful Christmas And a beautiful New Year. But if you doubt me, read the transcript. Okay? Read the transcript. All you have to do is read the transcript, and it's all there in black and white. The White House has released the transcript, and I invite fake news to report on it fairly and accurately. I invite the Democratic Party to read it, Nancy Pelosi to read it, and lying Hilary to read it. They won't, but I'll tell you who will. The people who come to my rallies. The people who voted for me as President. The people who will vote for me in 2020 as the next President. Four more years. Okay? Four more years. Think about that. Think about what that means for the planet, and I dare you, I challenge you, to go and have a beautiful Christmas and a beautiful New Year.
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O come all ye hopefuls Treading the election campaign O come ye, O come ye To Parliament. The crazier the better Give a satirist some material Bring him joy in 2020 With your antics and your pleadings.
O come all ye hopefuls O come all ye hopefuls O come all ye hopefuls No hard feelings! Merry Xmas.