Heather Simpson - ready to take the tough line on the coronavirus. Photo / Mark Mitchell
Heather Simpson - ready to take the tough line on the coronavirus. Photo / Mark Mitchell
COMMENT:
Jacinda Ardern
Let me be perfectly clear. What appears to have been the case with testing is that it was tending not to necessarily have that level of coverage across border staff.
Systems in place were established along the line and, as I've said in the past, we havemonitored the situation although the situation is evolving and not always in a linear pattern along the graphs that are available on our wesbite.
I think, if you look back on my previous statements, that I've been transparent in what I have always viewed as the need to impose a set of management structures underscored by efficiency and accountability going forward re our team of five million minus Auckland.
The Government's position remains consistent with the messages I have previously conveyed to relevant border staff via middle management by way of consultation with experts in various fields on Zoom and in person, who have passed it on through the correct channels plus outsourcing.
Border testing is a catastrophe and the only way to fix it is to get tough. Because these are tough times and that calls for a tough response. No one has ever questioned my toughness – but I ask the tough questions. I go to restaurants and the waiter says, "How would you like your steak?" and I say: "Tough." I say to the mirror, "Who's the toughest of them all?" And before it can get a chance to answer, I smash it into little pieces – because I'm tough.
So yeah, I will get tough on border testing and I will get tough on the virus itself. I will stand up to the virus and say to it, "You can't come in here, not on my watch." And if it whimpers and makes a fuss, I'm just going to box its ears, and say: "Tough luck."
I'm too tough to go into the details.
Chris Hipkins
Have I read the Ministry of Health's Covid-19 testing strategy? No, I haven't. How does it end?
You know, that reminds me of the Stephen Wright joke. He goes, "So I read the alphabet." Then he goes, "The Z did it."
Heather Simpson
Clark called. Said, "Help PM." Arrived border. Assembled staff.
0500 hours. The door burst open and a torch shone in my face, and a voice shouted, "Get up!"
Heather Simpson
Staff meeting. Ordered tea.
Air Commodore Darryn Webb
0507 hours. She had me scurrying around the kitchen looking for teacups but I couldn't find any.
Heather Simpson
Drank from boiling jug.
Air Commodore Darryn Webb
0511 hours. I said, "Now look here. I'm in charge."
Heather Simpson
Took charge.
Air Commodore Darryn Webb
0512 hours. I said, "Very well but name one thing you can do that I haven't done since I was appointed head of managed isolation and quarantine facilities."
Heather Simpson
Went outside. Changed direction of wind.
Gerry Brownlee
Forsooth, here I am, standing guard against manifest evil spirits at the border - halt, who goes there? What, has this thing appeared again tonight?
'Tis now struck 12; get thee to bed, but how can we sleep when our beds are burning? Do you know the way to San Jose? Will you still love me tomorrow? What's the frequency, Kenneth? Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the fandango?
