Sparing rod: Maybe it can spoil child

To smack or not to smack - an age-old question I'm sure many parents ponder.

I recall holding my son and vowing never to spank him after being raised by a man with a belt which left welts on our legs for days.

The saying "you won't be able to sit for a week" was something our dad took seriously. And woe betide if we got the strap from our teacher - dad enforced the law twice to ensure we behaved well when away from his eyes. Hence my vow to spare the rod.

But it's all well and good to say you won't spank an angelic child. What about a screaming, uncontrollable, obnoxious child when you are trying to get something urgent done?

Yes, I did spank at times. I don't agree with it but resorted to it rarely when it seemed appropriate or my children weren't listening and putting themselves or others in danger.

What is a parent to do when their child is out of control or behaving badly? The law is clear - you can't smack.

In court last week a judge made sure dairy farmer Jessie Smith got the message after he spanked his 2-year-old stepson for not listening, throwing toys and being disrespectful. (How a 2-year-old should know his behaviour is disrespectful beggars explaining.)

I'm sure Smith just lost it - easy to do when a child is really unruly or a parent under stress.

I know a young man whose mother never smacked him when he was a boy. He was a horrid child, acting up in public and rude to adults, believing it was his right to be heard.

If he had been smacked at appropriate times maybe he wouldn't have beaten up his partner as an adult and ended up in jail for violence against people who wouldn't do as he wanted.

His controlling ways followed him into adulthood because there had been no consequences for his actions.

So the theory that smacking breeds violence doesn't wash with me. Maybe Christians are right when they say spare the rod and spoil the child.

However, there is a difference between spanking and beating. Some don't know the difference, but most parents don't spank kids senseless or bruise them. The few who don't know the difference need to be educated.

We may not agree with the law but the reality is that while people won't speak up for abused children there needs to a blanket response to protect all youngsters.