Sonya Bateson: Why is tipping rearing its ugly head in our society?

Come for a ride with me in my fancy new time machine.

Sit right there and buckle up your seat belt as we go back in time a few years.

It’s 2008. Tiki Taane’s Always On My Mind is on every radio station. All the young women (myself included) have thick side-swept fringes and chunky waist belts. John Key and Helen Clark are preparing for the general election.

Follow me into this pretty river-front restaurant where we can see 20-odd tables full to bursting with small-town folk dressed in their weekend finest; and tourists with sensible shoes. They’re always more obvious than they realise.

To your left, you can see teenage me, apron tied around my hips, skirting around tables carrying a laden tray of drinks and trying my best not to spill them.

To your right, a table of guests tidily line their forks and knives precisely on their empty plates and wait for the cheque.

Another dead giveaway of a tourist, that. Clearly Americans. Locals head to the register when they’re done and the Americans wait for us to come to them. Young me safely delivers the drinks and then heads over to the American table with a discrete black folder.

A gentleman hands the folder back to me, credit card inside, and some notes tucked behind it. Fifteen dollars! That’s more than I make an hour. And, what’s more, that’s the only tip I’ve received all shift and probably the only one I’ll get all weekend.

Not that I’m complaining, mind.

This is 2008 after all and tips are by far the exception, not the norm. I bet leaving a tip wouldn’t have even occurred to any of the Kiwi diners in the restaurant unless one of our wait staff had performed CPR or hand-delivered an infant right there at the table.

I exaggerate. There were some Kiwi diners who did leave tips, but it was usually the change left after paying for a meal (don’t want it to weigh my pocket down, am I right?) or a $5 note if we’d had exceptional banter. Either way, it was uncommon.

Alright time tourists, let’s get back into my marvellous machine and jump forward to 2022. Almost back to where we came from.

See there, at that table by the window? That’s me from a year ago, sitting with my family as far away as we can from the other guests in case the toddler gets a bit rowdy. We’ve been waiting a while for our food now, I’m not sure why, the restaurant’s pretty quiet. Probably staff shortages.

Eventually, a waiter comes over, places our plates on our table and abruptly leaves again before we can ask for another drink. Ah well, water it is.

We finish our meals, slightly dissatisfied with the experience, and head to the register where we wait impatiently while wrangling a now-tired toddler.

Eventually, a staff member comes over and rings up our meal, then leans on the counter and watches as I swipe my card.

A prompt appears on the small screen: “Add tip? Y/N”

As the staff member watches on, I quickly press “N”, type in my pin and leave.

Uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable. Did she really have to watch?

Alright, class, back to the time machine to return to the present day. What did we learn from our wee excursion?

Americans are generous and Kiwis are stingy?

Close, but no cigar. Americans feel obliged to tip as their serving staff back home are paid less than minimum wage and rely on tips to make up the difference. Tipping is a habit they carry with them everywhere.

Kiwis, on the other hand, give tips as an acknowledgment of their server going above and beyond. Or to get rid of loose change.

At least this used to be the case. Now I fear that tipping is creeping more and more into everyday life.

I’ve seen that little Eftpos pop-up appear on more than one machine since that day. Not many more, granted, as we don’t eat out often. But it’s something I’ve heard others mention too.

Why is tipping rearing its ugly head in our society?

Is it because we feel guilty about minimum-wage workers struggling to support themselves in today’s economy?

Are businesses trying to encourage it to supplement their workers’ pay cheques without raising prices?

Or is it the creep of American technology like ride-sharing apps and food delivery services that are making it more commonplace?

Whatever it is, I don’t like it.

It’s a lovely gesture to reward exceptional service and in those instances, I’m all for it. But the last thing we want is for tipping to become so ingrained that companies get away with paying their staff less than they deserve.

Take me back to the good old days when waiters would have to wrestle a wild bear (what’s the Kiwi equivalent? Bush pig?) or perform the Heimlich manoeuvre to earn a tip.

I mean, that’s got to be worth at least five bucks, right?

Sonya Bateson is a writer, reader, and crafter raising her family in Tauranga. She is a Millennial who enjoys eating avocado on toast, drinking lattes and defying stereotypes. As a sceptic, she reserves the right to change her mind when presented with new evidence.