The scars on Shane Sheehan's body are starting to heal. But the emotional scars - of surviving a horrific crash where four friends perished - will never go away.
The 16-year-old still has nightmares about the Easter crash which saw him thrown from the car into a ditch, suffering head injuries and multiple broken bones.
But what Shane finds the hardest to cope with is not the 40 operations he has had since the crash, but the fact he missed his best friend's funeral and the knowledge he tried - but failed - to stop the speeding driver who caused the crash.
Shane, who is home for the weekend before returning to hospital tomorrow, remembers everything about the night of the crash, including begging driver Sebastian Sigamoney to slow down several times.
Mr Sigamoney had lost his licence twice, had his car impounded and was often fined for speeding.
"I blame him for it," Shane told the Herald on Sunday.
"If he had listened to me and slowed down we would have all been fine. That night he wouldn't listen to me. I have anger toward the driver and sadness that I lost my mates."
Shane said the night started well with the group of friends cruising the streets of inner-city Auckland before driving home to Pukekohe.
On the way back Mr Sigamoney was tired and the group stopped in a carpark so he could have a sleep.
"After that we pulled up next to a Subaru in Manukau and he wanted to race it but we didn't want him to," Shane said. "He always speeds and races - everyone knows he speeds and races."
Shane remembers the others in the car - Steven Upson, 16, Rodney Mountford, 25, and his best friend Gordon Ngaia, 16 - looking to him to tell Mr Sigamoney to slow down.
"The others didn't really know him as well as I did so they kept looking at me and I kept telling him to slow down.
"He would slow down for a bit but then he would speed up again.
"The guys were holding on to their seats in the back. They kept looking at me - I knew they were scared by the look on their faces. They were good mates - Gordon and Stephen were in the back with me and Rodney was in the front.
"I remember looking at Gordon and seeing him holding on to his seat - he was petrified."
When the car was travelling along State Highway 22 near Pukekohe, Mr Sigamoney was distracted - texting on his phone and angry.
Shane was begging Mr Sigamoney to slow down and saw the fateful corner approaching.
"I leaned over just before the corner and I saw the clock go 150, 160, 170 and I said to him 'you are not going to make the corner' and he said 'nah mate I've got it, I've got it'.
"The last thing I remember was seeing the clock and it was just over 170km/h. I don't remember the crash happening - mum told me when I woke up in hospital."
Shane suffered massive head injuries, a broken hip, leg and feet in the crash and has had about 40 operations, with more to come.
"In the first week I didn't sleep at all. I had nightmares and flashbacks about being in the car," he said. "I just see that corner all the time."
The apprentice mechanic, who visited the crash site on Saturday, said teen drivers needed to learn from what he had been through.
"When I drive with my other mates I know, as the driver, I have the responsibility. It's not worth risking other people's lives.
"People need to realise a life is a life. You can never bring them back."
- HERALD ON SUNDAY
Sole Pukekohe crash survivior speaks out
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