Sneha Gray: Maternity care must be first class for all new mums

As we celebrate our beautiful first baby, Neve Gayford, it is time to rekindle the passionate debate about the quality of maternity care in New Zealand.

Although a political centrist, I've pleasantly observed how the Prime Minister has conducted herself over the past year with what seems to be a genuine regard for people. A hard task at the best of times, she's paved the way forward for our daughters to reach their highest potential even while pregnant.

Therefore, I was particularly pleased with the high quality of care provided to the PM and her partner by the Auckland City Hospital.

Nevertheless, the quality of post birth care for many mothers is average at best. For instance, in February this year, a new mum broke her leg after a nurse at Middlemore Hospital forced her to move to another ward before the effects of her epidural had worn off. Hawke's Bay woman Asleigh was asked to "Shut up, don't sit there feeling sorry for yourself."

A lack of empathy has led to mums feeling tired, let down, unsupported, alone and depressed. When I was at hospital after the birth of our gorgeous baby boy, I found that while many of the nurses provided quality care, others were indifferent and made me feel vulnerable.

For instance, I didn't need advice on how to change nappies or ways to stop the baby from crying at 2am. I needed an hour's sleep.

When I realised the nurse wasn't going to help I ended up sleeping with the baby on my bed holding him tight in my arm for fear of dropping him and this haunts me to this day.

It's not easy for me to share this story and the intent is not to taint the reputation of the many hardworking and positive staff at the hospital who provided me with a reasonable standard of care.

Unfortunately, though, when it comes to matters of life or death, it only takes one "professional" to make a mistake and so it's vital to understand the worst-case scenarios and mitigate.

I had a good midwife and obstetrician, good medical staff, yet was let down by a couple of nurses at the hospital. To be fair, perhaps it wasn't that they set out to be rude or patronising, it just seemed to me they'd forgotten how to care.

The medical bureaucracy and their spin doctors are often "sorry" but yet are quick to find excuses.

While no doubt issues around hospital bed availability, and the quality of working conditions for nurses need to be sorted, the heart of the matter lies in the heart – a heart to care for those in one's care regardless of circumstances.

Pay disputes and perceived working conditions cannot be used as an excuse to patronise or traumatise mums in maternity care.

Having worked at hospitals, I know those with influence do receive better quality care. Perhaps we can do better and try to create an acceptable level of care for regular mums and remind ourselves that our children are our future.

To be a quality nation we need all our children, from the nation's first baby Neve Gayford to little Bay of Plenty commoner Alfie Gray, to grow up surrounded by joy and peace, so they can one day make our nation proud.

The first step towards ensuring that this happens is to look after mums and dads who care for these wee ones in the earliest days of their lives.

I hope I am right in being convinced that if anyone can champion this cause and turn things around for the better, it will be a sitting Prime Minister who has first-hand experience of the beautiful yet complex and tiring process called childbirth.

Perhaps the birth of the nation's first baby is the pulse needed to pump the heart of maternity care back to life and bring back love and compassion to the field that is so lucky to be a part of bringing precious gifts of life into our world.

• Sneha Gray is a doctoral student at the University of Auckland.