Sideswipe

One would hope for more than a few traces when buying a whole packet.

The cyclist whose tatty bike shorts and exposed buttock Sideswipe shared with the world on Friday startled more than one motorist on Great North Rd, but not only for his southern exposure. Catherine writes that perhaps his friends and family could also chip in for a bike helmet when they buy him some new shorts. "I saw the guy too, and he obviously cares as little about protecting his brain as he does about his appearance." And his appearance has been noted on Papakura streets too, from where the question comes: "Never mind a pair of new bike pants, how about we start with some underpants?"

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We all know Shortland Street can provide an eerie echo of New Zealand life, but in the week that New Zealand's gay couples can finally tie the knot thanks to the civil union law, the Simpsons shoots ahead in the TV-imitates-life stakes. A lack of tourist dollars is hurting the town of Springfield and Lisa comes up with the idea of legalising gay marriage. Suddenly, dozens of gay couples flock to Springfield. The episode screens on Wednesday. 

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A music purist shares a frightening thought: Was it just me or did the list of top 10 singles to feature in the NZ music charts read more like a list of the worst songs of all time? Our own much-admired Scribe aside, seriously - Sailing Away by All of Us, I Will Always Love You by Whitney Houston and Rivers of Babylon by Boney M? Let's hope the record execs don't put them all on one album in time for Christmas.

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Global fast-food giant Subway may have to educate some of its younger Kiwi workers in the quaint language of imperial measures it has reintroduced to this country from its United States heartland. Even staff too young to remember New Zealand's conversion to metric measurements seem to have little difficulty understanding the difference between "six-inch" and "footlong" Subway sandwich rolls. But a minor departure from the script by a difficult older customer who asked for a "12-inch" roll caused meltdown on the sandwich line. The hungry punter was dismayed to watch a half-size version under construction, as the young order-taker evidently did not realise that 12 inches still equals one foot in the land of the free.