Sideswipe

One of those parochial sporting jokes some people like so much.

With stories about celebrities and their weight gain/loss providing 90 per cent of the copy for women's magazines, you'd think they would know the difference between kilos and pounds. Here's actress Kirstie Alley on her television commercial for Jenny Craig: "I lost 55 pounds - that's 10 kilos where you're from!" Woman's Day cover interprets this as: Kirstie's New Body - How losing 55kg changed my Life! Donna Awatere Huata watch out.

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Yesterday the Herald reported Dick Hubbard as saying, "Auckland has got to be smart about tailoring events that fit in with the psyche and nature of the city. If you take maritime events, we are the City of Sails. With the very big Indian, Chinese and Pacific Island populations, the Diwali Festival of Lights, the Lantern Festival and Pasifika are absolute certainties." Mike Kelly writes: "I never realised Auckland's population of non-sailing NZ Europeans was so tiny or that they didn't "fit in with the psyche and nature of the city". Thanks for putting me straight, Dick."

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A freshwater fish scientist at Niwa is named John Jellyman. Teeheehee.

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Crazy lawsuit courtesy of News of the Weird: A Minnesota Court of Appeals sent a case back to trial, ruling that Jenell Casarez could indeed sue Amy and David Klema for injuries suffered as a guest in their home. According to the lawsuit, Casarez needed to use the bathroom, which was occupied by David, and so with Amy's permission, went to the basement and attempted to relieve herself in a concrete laundry tub, but when she climbed on top, it tipped over and crushed her fingertips. (Alcohol was involved, according to the trial court.)

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A reader would like to clear her name: "Members of the public helped police by pursuing two people from the scene of a commercial burglary in Albany recently. This was reported in the North Shore Times last Thursday as: 'Getaway plans were quickly changed following a burglary by members of the public in Albany.' As a member of the public, I wish to disassociate myself from this statement - and also from the burglary!"

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A reader was astounded to see what happened after a nose-to-tail on the Northwestern Motorway in rush-hour traffic yesterday morning. "A small red car rear-ended a big SUV. As I drove past I saw the woman in the SUV get out of her car and give a big hug to the shaken woman driver of the small red car. Wow."