Sideswipe

A US funeral home franchise

A complaint from James Kember, the public affairs director for the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Trade, might give Telecom the boot it needs. He writes: "Jetstream: if they are referring to service, what a misnomer. Your hapless reader who spent only an hour waiting for the Telecom/Xtra help desk was lucky. My average over four calls in the past week has been 70 minutes of waiting, twice with advice that proved incorrect. Part of that was because, unbeknown to me, Telecom linked me to a Jetstream package for a company with which I had no connection. The most recent call, though, took the cake: after the usual delay (I put the phone on speakerphone and cooked dinner while I was waiting) I finally got through and ended, 40 minutes later, with the recommendation to call the modem supplier. Progress! I called the supplier and got a voicemail message telling me to call - wait for it - the Jetstream number! Are they in cahoots? Time to change suppliers."

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And Vivienne Allen writes: A few weeks ago, after a power cut, my Jetstream wouldn't work so I spent two days talking with their helpdesk getting nowhere. Finally I had a brainwave - phone the sales department. Result - answered instantly. I asked the sales department why they were selling a service when they were unable to support it ... Finally Jetstream sent an "expert" out to my house to check my setup. His answer - "your computer is stuffed and too old so throw it away and buy a new one" and then charged me $81 for the privilege of coming. Before taking their advice I asked my son (a network engineer) to take a look at my computer. Result was that in under 15 minutes he had Jetstream working perfectly. He said that when the Jetstream helpdesk talked me through the setup they forgot to save my password to the modem so after the powercut my password was wiped and I was no longer able to connect. My advice, therefore, is not to take Jetstream's advice and "throw away your computer and inundate the sales department with your concerns".

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He laughs about it now, but the man imported from Australia to sort out Auckland's transport mess must have thought he was beyond the Black Stump when he caught a train to Westfield, expecting a glitzy shopping paradise. The trip started off well when Alan Thompson, chief executive of the new Auckland Regional Transport Authority, reported to the elegant Britomart Station and boarded one of the region's more modern trains. But instead of finding a shopping mall under the flag of the Australian-owned Westfield retail empire, he ended up in the abandoned industrial wasteland of that name, and had to limp back to town in one of the rail fleet's old dungers.

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The Age website (www.theage.com.au) is running the drop in New Zealand sheep numbers story under the headline "Getting Lonely" ...