Sideswipe: September 11: Colloquial English lesson

Colloquial English lesson on the grounds of a Henderson school.

Selling yourself - 1805 style
An article from 1805 discusses something called a Matrimonial Plan, run by local clergy to get the young people married off. Like a modern-day dating service it explains how to advertise yourself for potential nuptials and gives these examples:

First Class: "I am 19 years of age, heiress to a freehold estate in Kent, of 500 per annum, besides 15,000 in the funds. Have lost my father, and under a guardian. I am of middle-size, dark hair and eyes, person agreeable, temper lively, religion - that of my future husband."

Second Class: "I am thirty-two years of age, a widow in the glass line, in London, have three children. Middle stature, light complexion, red hair, full made, and am worth 3500."

Third Class: "I am tall and thin, auburn hair, one eye rather brighter than the other, active and conversable, having had a good education, am 24 years old, and live with my father, who can give me 1500 down, if I marry with his approbation."

And the sample gentlemen:

First Class: "A young gentleman, just of age, dark eyes and hair, tall and slender, has an estate of 500 per annum, in New Zealand, besides 20,000 or rather less in British funds."

Second Class: "A gentleman, 40 years of age, a little corpulent, rather of a dark brown complexion, wears a wig, has a place in the customs and a small estate in Suffolk, with 750 in the funds; reasonably well-tempered, and at times very lively; religion - of his fathers."

Third Class: A clergyman, 30 years of age, dark eyes and hair, robust and healthy, enjoys three curacies and keeps a small school, of which he is heartily tired, and wishes for a more active department, and is of a very affectionate disposition." (Source: Mental Floss.com)

Strange but true
1. The ice-bucket challenge left a man critical in Spain when he agreed to a plane dropping 1500 litres of water on him from 7 metres up.

2. Ten Texas school districts received surplus military guns and armour, securely locked away when not used for training. If a school shooting incident occurs, it should only take 45 minutes or so to get kitted up. The median school shooting spree lasts 12 minutes. (Source: Weird Universe)

Seeking stressed bride and groom
Keith writes: "I found on the path in Browning St, Grey Lynn, today, a long and well-thought-out wedding guest list. Could we put the owner of this list out of any misery by asking them to contact me through Sideswipe?"

Southern sentiment on a bumper sticker.