Sideswipe: Sept 29 - Unofficial Rugby World Cup marketing

Photo / Supplied

Maybe funny if you're scoring the try; not so much if you're the posts.

With sympathy on your job loss

You know there's a recession when ... Hallmark now has a line of sympathy cards for those who've lost their jobs. One features a dog suggesting the recipient to think of it not "as losing your job" but "as a time out between stupid bosses". Another features sad, jobless cartoon animals queued up at the unemployment office. The cards are reportedly flying off shelves - "because there's nothing unemployed people like more than knowing their friends still have enough money to spend $5.99 on a piece of paper", writes Mediaite.com.

Can-do minister

Seen on Queens Wharf fan zone: Ministerial car pulls up at barrier. Two policemen strolling by. One of the organisers asks nicely, "Could you please move the barrier?" "Not our job," reply the boys in blue, and they stroll on. So Police Minister Judith Collins hops out of the car and moves it herself.

Monkeying with the Bard

Millions of virtual monkeys have typed out 99.9 per cent of the complete works of Shakespeare by hitting random keys on simulated typewriters. The experiment attempts to prove the theory that an infinite number of monkeys sitting at an infinite number of typewriters would eventually reproduce the works of the Bard. Jesse Anderson, the US programmer behind the project, said he was inspired by an episode of The Simpsons which spoofs the famous problem. Writing on his blog, he said: "This is the largest work ever randomly reproduced. It is one small step for a monkey, one giant leap for virtual primates everywhere." But experts say it is an imperfect reproduction of the theorem because it saves only correct sections of text. (source: web.orange.co.uk)

Blow, wind, blow

To the farter who wrote in with his smoking comparison: "That's the spirit! Farting, unlike smoking, is a natural process of the body. However, I must congratulate you on embracing it, be it in your own sarcastic way. I only hope everyone can be as proud of their body and its functions as you are ... And I promise, if you ever fart next to me, I'll make sure to believe you when you say, 'Did you smell something funny?'."