Sideswipe: Resting up

"You know traffic in Auckland is bad when drivers take power naps," says Andrew. "Yes, her eyes are shut (and were for some time) and no, she isn't parked."

Sav blonkers

Fair suck of the sav, Samantha, declares Howard of Orakei. "Why do people call sauvignon blanc, sav blonk. Are they talking about a white saveloy? Do they ask for a savignon blonk at the wine shop or a so-vee-nyo(n) blah(n) with the endings Nasalised with French vowels? We are not wine drinkers but my partner speaks fluent French and it really annoys us. Even so-called wine buffs call it sav blonk. I think I'll have a glass of pee-not grease?"

Dopey big bear encounter

According to News of the Weird: 1) In Montana it's still considered a "workplace injury" if a Great Bear Adventures employee gets hurt after smoking a big spliff and trying unsuccessfully to make friends with a grizzly. 2) The recession bites for KV Pharmaceutical in the US which announces that its Makena drug, which can reduce pre-term births by 10 to15 per cent, will have a slight price rise ... from $20 a dose to $1500. 3) Aaron Penny and Justin Williams were charged with riding down the road tossing ball-bearings at oncoming cars' windshields. Dumb kids, right? Both are in their 30s.

Elderly by 30

Twenty-nine is the new 79. For women at least: A British funeral provider asked men and women how they felt about ageing - on average men said they begin to feel old at 58 - or, when they can't "perform in the bedroom" and think "music [has] become too loud in bars" - whereas women begin to feel old at 29 - or, when their "assets" droop and they spot their first gray hairs. Commenting on the findings, psychologist Professor Cary Cooper from Lancaster University said: 'In our society the attractiveness of women is quite important. Men don't have to be good looking but, for some reason, it's important for women to look presentable. Magazines are all about youth and are filled with young, attractive women. Women then start to perceive themselves as old when they no longer feel like this, when they don't feel trendy or fashionable. (Source: the Daily Mail)

Unstuck on Kiwi lingo

When Therese Laing worked in Sydney, she was transcribing work on dictaphone for a man with a strong Kiwi accent. "I was born and raised in Auckland so you think I would know the lingo. The document I was typing up was about transportation issues. However, I was stumped by a repeated phrase, 'fear of Asian'. The context was along the lines of 'one of the issues facing this company today is fear of Asian'. It seemed to make some sense, even though I thought it racist, but I was confused about it being just the one Asian. Nonetheless, I submitted the document and it turned out the phrase was supposed to be 'fare evasion'."