Sideswipe: Original trophy wife

Photo / Supplied

Looking back fondly, to simpler times: "Blondes, redheads and brunettes for every man to boast of his conquests - the first realistic likeness of the exciting women who play an important part in every man's life - and one of the nicest qualities is that they don't talk back!"

The life-like heads are "accurately modelled to three-quarters life size of real gals and moulded of skin-textured pliable plastic".

"Saucy glittering eyes, full sensuous mouth and liquid satin complexion give astonishing realism to the unique trophies."

Damn those scammers

Patricia writes: "Having taken my husband to hospital in the morning with a suspected heart attack, when the phone rang at 9.30pm and a voice said, 'Mrs [last name] I have very bad news for you.'

You can imagine my reaction ... 'Your computer has a terrible virus and I need your password to help you get rid of it,' the voice continued ...

Divvying up the crumbs

One more take on the biscuit joke ... a reader writes: "There are actually no biscuits left on the plate. The banker took them a couple of years ago and lent them to a hungry dog. Now there's only slobbery crumbs left for the three beneficiaries (one of whom used to be a mechanic, and one of whom used to be a forestry worker). The banker has a cake."