Sideswipe: October 7: For the Leon in your life

"Saw this today at Spotlight - the perfect Christmas gift for the Leon in your life!" writes Jocelyn.

From the online world of funnies

Mark Gregory invented the "Buttleopener", which is a bottle opener shaped like a woman's buttocks. Gregory also served as a member of the Williamson County school board in Tennessee, recently rising to become chairman. But the two aspects of his life (buttleopener inventor and school board chairman) proved to be incompatible. Gregory recently resigned his position as chairman, bowing to pressure from parents who really, really didn't want him involved with the school board. (Source: Rawstory.com)

Exaggerating journalist

And the nominee for most cliches and mixed metaphors in a single paragraph is... UK independent dairy analyst Ian Potter: "It's the perfect storm and it's come so quickly it's taken everyone by surprise. There is no glimmer of light, the market is continuing to track down. It's a vortex that everyone is being sucked in to - there are farmers now staring down the gun barrel."

Trust in the Lord

Judges in medieval Europe sometimes looked for divine intervention to determine guilt or innocence. If you were accused of a crime, you might be asked to prove your innocence through one of these ordeals:

• Glowing iron: An iron rod was heated until it was red-hot and, after an elaborate series of prayers and blessings, the accused carried it a distance of nine feet. His hands were then wrapped and inspected three days later. The logic was that God would protect the innocent and his hands would be healing. If his hands were festering, he was guilty.

• Cold water: The accused's hands and feet were bound and he was tossed into a river or pond. In the early Middle Ages, it was believed that God protected the innocent, so he would float, following the logic of other ordeals. But by the end of the Middle Ages, the reasoning was inverted. The new idea was that, since the water was blessed and thus served as a baptism for the accused, it would reject the guilty, making them float. This left the innocent to sink and hope for a quick rescue.

• The cross: This ordeal was to settle disputes. Both parties faced the cross and extended their arms to the sides, imitating the shape of the cross. Whoever was the first to tire and put his arms down was in the wrong, since God would give strength to the righteous. (Source: Uncle John's Bathroom Reader History's Lists).

Small abbreviation

"Seen some bad attempts over the years to condense something down to six characters," writes Pete Gregory. "But this one is probably one of the worst. I think they're trying to abbreviate "beautiful"."

Headline of the day: Talented Tumor...

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Newsy: Airline food, especially in economy class, has a bad reputation, although part of its tastelessness can be attributed to the desensitization of the tastebuds at 30,000 feet. Back on the ground, its full flavor can be enjoyed and we've even seen Arlanda Foodtrucks offer up airport food on the street. Now Germany's Air Food One is a subscription service that lets anyone get airline meals delivered to their home once a week... (Read more here)

Video: Just when you thought she couldn't get any bigger...Here's a Lorde themed Halloween light show...

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