Can't get no satisfaction from people mover
Do you have a people mover in your carport? It might be damaging your sex life, writes Katherine Stewart from The Sane Companion blog. "I know I should have bought one long ago. There are times when I need to shift five small humans
around the suburb. But something keeps stopping me. Is it the disturbing sound of a sliding door? The dangling beads swaying from the rear-view mirror? The roar of the sewing machine-sized engine under the bonnet? These rectangular contraceptives are everywhere. They have strange fold-down seats for extra guests who are forced to face each other. There are cupholders everywhere They have tints. This is so that no one can see inside; the shame that lives within. They have seat covers featuring Taz-Mania and Tweety Bird. If you hate sex, get a people mover. You'll be left alone, to drive asexually around the streets of New Zealand, asexually drinking your Wild Bean coffee, that you can rest in one of the 65 cup holders."
Thesanecompanion.co.nz
No escaping the noise
"If a car alarm is the only source of annoying noise in your neighbourhood, you're lucky," writes Andrew. "I'm dealing with ...
1. Motorway roadworks, about 150m from my bedroom, that have been going for two years and are only due to be completed in December 2016.
2. Three households within 100m have dogs that bark incessantly whenever their owners leave the house.
3. A rugby league club 150m away, the patrons of which decide that it's appropriate to swear their heads off, scream, and beep their horns at 12.30am on Saturdays (when they get kicked out).
4. And for the next four to five weeks there will be at least one person in the neighbourhood letting off fireworks each night. And I can hear all of these things in every room of my house, even with the TV on and all doors and windows closed. I'm saving up for double-glazing."
Forget about Westie Fridge Transportation Guy, what about Inner City Painter Dude? At least the house isn't moving ...
Safety first on driveway stickers
Anthony from Safekids Aotearoa says the driveway safety stickers mentioned in yesterday's Sideswipe shouldn't be stuck on car windows as they could obstruct vision. "They come with suggestions on where it is best placed: On the sides of recycling bins; on the letterbox; along the driveway; in the garage; or anywhere cars are parked."