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Opinion
Home / New Zealand

Sideswipe: October 23: Not getting the hang of it

Ana Samways
Opinion by
Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·NZ Herald·
22 Oct, 2013 04:30 PM3 mins to read

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A mother writes: "My 19-year-old son has started doing his own washing. He is yet to master the art of hanging them out. It is obviously quicker throwing the items in the air and letting the washing line catch them as they come back down. This photo was taken on Saturday and it is still outside!"

Online prize with a nasty taste of spam
Richard Jarvis writes: "Auckland Transport recently ran an online survey about travel habits, with a chance to win a $25 prezzie card for participating. I was lucky enough to win, but unfortunately my plans for early retirement failed because the subject of the email congratulated me for being a winner, and said all I had to do to claim my prize was click on the attached link to confirm my details. I've concluded AT have an evil genius running their online marketing. By sending an email which is guaranteed to be flagged as spam, they'll never have to give away any prizes; 10/10 for dastardly brilliance."

Great literary starts
At Ask Reddit a user asks: "If you wanted to write the beginning of a book that hooked you from the very start, what would be the first line?" Here are some of the best opening line from other users ...
1. I'm dead. Not that I want sympathy, I just don't want you to be surprised later.
2. After eons spent watching humans, I already knew that the most exhilarating and terrifying moment of my tenure would be when one started watching back.
3. I had two shots in me; one bourbon, one lead.
4. I've never been a fan of mushrooms, especially when they arose as clouds from the horizon.
5. The only thing school taught me is that there is no sound more frightening than a group of girls laughing.
6. It was the beginning of a cold, overcast Monday morning, and some bastard had taken it upon himself to resurrect me. (Source: Neatorama.com)

No market for boys
An underwear maker in Britain has made a line of underwear for men and women that filters out farts. According to the makers, Shreddies, the cloth contains the same activated carbon material used in chemical warfare suits and can filter odours 200 times the strength of the average flatus emission. A spokesperson said they were a healthcare product and had helped many cope with conditions such as IBS, Crohn's and food intolerances. "But the bottom line is that Shreddies are for everyone, after all, it's something we all do."

You want the police with that?

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The Golden Arches have been stolen from McDonald's in Marlborough and "a man was seen running from McDonald's towards Freswick St with the large M from the McDonald's sign shortly after 4am on Sunday," wrote local police on their Facebook page. "Maybe they should check out anyone with a big W too," quipped Jacqui Wilson.

Cross-section of a deceptive potato topped pie.
Cross-section of a deceptive potato topped pie.

Music: Guitar worn as mere accessory....

Video: The Road Runner episode you've waited 20 years to see (NSFW language)..

Picture this: Jesus portraiture in unusual places...
More of the Christian art of Nathan Greene here...

Video: A really good rap about being a Dad...

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Power to move you

16 Oct 04:30 PM

Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz

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