Sideswipe: May 4: A pint of happiness, please

Which would you choose? Spotted outside the Shepherds Arms Hotel in Thorndon, Wellington.

Subversive genius

"Today I met a hero," writes Deborah Hill Cone. "This guy rocks up and parks his car, then he takes off his windscreen wipers and puts them in the boot of his car. He saw the way I was looking at him and smiled. "No wipers mean they can't put a ticket under them," he said.

Bob's your hairy uncle

"A few years ago I had my daughter's dog, Bob the boxer, in the car and I called around to my son's house to collect his dog, Missie," writes Diane Irvine. "I thought the dog-cousins could have a run together. Unfortunately when I got out to get Missie, Bob got very excited and jumped on the knob that activated the central locking. So there was Bob in my car, keys inside with the engine running. I knocked on the neighbour's door. She asked what make of car I had then said 'my husband's got one of those. We'll try his key'. It worked."

Abbreviations gone mad? Wonder what they are actually selling. Spotted in a supermarket in Helensville.

Persistant bug

"My mother will turn 90 this year and lives in a lovely little retirement complex," writes Jacqui from Beach Haven. "Unfortunately she has very poor eyesight. Going to bed one night she saw a bug on the wall above her bed. She sprayed it and got ready for bed. It was still there half an hour later so she sprayed it again. She got into bed hoping it wouldn't land on her pillow during the night. The next morning it was was still there, so she asked the house keeper to identify and remove it. 'I've used half a can of Raid on it,' declared Mum. The housekeeper duly identified and removed the offending picture hook."

My kid wrote a book about going to the zoo. This is on page 14.

Medieval Fight Club: The members of the Armored Combat League get dressed up in medieval armor and fight. "We've seen guys' fingers get cut off, we've seen guys' knees kicked in, we've seen guys break both of their arms in the same fight, we've seen guys get all their teeth knocked out because the helmet smashes up against their face or something, some guy had to get flown out by helicopter because he has blood in his brain..."

Picture this: Jesus Christ assembly line...

Video: The preamble of this episode of Family Feud, with The Dukes of Hazard cast vs The Waltons cast, is disturbing...

Herald app users tap here for today's video.

Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz