Sideswipe: July 8: Cop this

Photo / Supplied

The sign on the flattened cardboard box offers, for a small fee, an escape from a checkpoint on Candia Rd, Swanson, yesterday. But it didn't go unnoticed by the thin blue line. (Snapped by James Milligan.)

Parking woes

The new Auckland Transport is set to earn big money, says Andrew. "I went into the Civic carpark early on Monday and prepaid $13 for the Earlybird all-day parking. I went back to my car at 7.04pm but the machine wouldn't let me exit without paying again as I had passed the 7pm cut-off. The machine charged me an additional $16! Under the old council, the machine used to have a grace period of about 10 minutes and if you exceeded that, you had to pay the extra $3 an hour. But now the full charge is even more than a lost ticket fee ($28). So I was charged $16 for just four minutes of parking. Must be the most expensive parking in the world."

Chance to ride Tour de France

An exercise bike which lets users ride the Tour de France route from their home is being developed. Newslite.tv says the £800 ($1500) device not only uses Google Maps to let Lance Armstrong wannabes follow the route and cycle the right distances, but it also tilts to match the angle of the French roads.

Next's Buncing beauty

A British fashion retailer is facing embarrassment after a chubby ginger bloke won an online modelling poll.

Next brand launched the Next Model competition to find a future catwalk star and invited members of the public to vote for their favourite contestant.

But online pranksters noticed the unlikely bid of Roland Bunce, 24, a computer engineer from Belfast. An internet campaign to support him went viral and Roland beat 5000 other contestants to the top spot.

He got a staggering 66,000 Facebook 'likes' - compared to 89 for the young woman in second place. The final round of the competition involves a judging panel so he is unlikely to win the £2000 Next vouchers, a photo shoot and an introduction to a modelling agency up for grabs.

Say what you mean, part 2

1. "Entry-level opportunity" means: "It's a bit cheaper because it's a dump."

2. "Subdivision potential" - "You could squeeze in another house, so they look straight into your bedrooms and the kids will have to play on the shared driveway."

3. "We'll just have to agree to disagree" - "You're wrong, but I can't be bothered arguing any more."

4. "Have you tried turning it off and then back on again?" - "I haven't got a clue what's wrong with your computer."

5. "In my humble opinion" - "In my egotistical, stubbornly unshakeable, I-can't-possibly-be-wrong, I'm-almost-certainly-about-to-offend-someone-and-anything-BUT-humble opinion."

The wanderer returns

"Clearly Feeney (the Cornish rex cat) is an avid reader of Sideswipe," writes Lauren. "Realising the game was up, at least in his own neighbourhood, the silly duffer wandered home shortly after the Herald hit the newsstands."