Sideswipe: July 1: Pedestrian helpers making some cross

Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·NZ Herald·

30 Jun, 2015 05:00 PM3 mins to read

Auckland Transport's pedestrian gimp

"Spot the green man helping pedestrians to safely cross inner city roads," tweets Auckland Transport. "Patronising crap," responded Christopher. "Well done to Auckland Transport for getting on the morph suit buzz. What a bunch of melts," tweeted Kieran. (i.e. melt = complete idiots)

Rewards are high for drug buyers

France's daily La Provence reported in May that at least one enterprising drug dealer in Marseilles had begun distributing "loyalty cards" to its best customers, offering a 10 ($16.40) discount on future sales after that customer's card was full (all 10 squares stamped from previous sales). Said one buyer, "I thought I was hallucinating. I thought I was at a pizzeria or something." The card also expressed thanks for the patronage and reminded the customer of operating hours (11am to midnight). (Source: News of the Weird)

Making life easy for the police

Police arrested Mashara Mefford in Nashville and charged her with breaking into one of their marked cruisers. She was discovered by an officer after she had locked herself inside and could not figure out how the locks worked to get out again.

Funding plea to help Greeks

A crowdfunding page has been set up to collect money to bail out Greece from its latest financial predicament. "All this dithering over Greece is getting boring," it reads. "European ministers flexing their muscles and posturing over whether they can help the Greek people or not. Why don't we the people just sort it instead? The European Union is home to 503 million people, if we all just chip in a few Euro then we can get Greece sorted and hopefully get them back on track soon. Easy. 1.6bn is what the Greeks need. It might seem like a lot but it's only just over 3 from each European. That's about the same as half a pint in London. Or everyone in the EU just having a feta and olive salad for lunch. So come on, order a feta and olive salad, maybe wash it down with an ouzo and let's sort this s*** out."

Somewhere to park the snapper bait

"The bike shed in Birkenhead is usually empty," declares a reader. "The main use of the shed is as a weather shelter for people fishing from the wharf. Essentially an $80,000 wind-break."

Good read: "Three months ago in an apartment on the outskirts of Osaka, Japan, Haruki Watanabe died alone. For weeks his body slowly decomposed, slouched in its own fluids and surrounded by fetid, fortnight-old food. He died of self-neglect, solitude, and a suspected heart problem. At 60, Watanabe, wasn't old, nor was he especially poor. He had no friends, no job, no wife, and no concerned children. His son hadn't spoken to him in years, nor did he want to again."Read the full story here...