Sideswipe: Jan 26: Dear burglars...

Note to thieves.

Welcome note so burglars get the message

"Mt Eden has been hit hard with burglaries over the festive season," writes Tony. "And our home has been one of the unlucky ones. We were warned by the police that the burglars would probably be back in a month or so and sure enough they've returned. They tried to gain entry, however this time they were unsuccessful. My wife has decided to do her bit to discourage any future attempts and attached this note to the front and rear entrances."

Over-pampered moggies confiscated

Animal protection officers in Halland County, Sweden, confiscated two cats they found being "mistreated". Two women were treating the cats like babies in "pushchairs" and spoon-fed them while they were strapped in high chairs. Both cats had been encouraged to suck on pacifiers, and one woman reportedly allowed the cats to suckle her breast. The cats were removed from the home because they were not being allowed to develop "natural animal behaviour". (The Local Stockholm)

It took Vikki a little while to figure out that her daughter had had added to the shopping board.

Vintage water cylinder still 'good as gold'

A reader writes: "Yes, I can beat the 1967 water cylinder with my 1962 one, but I suspect that there are many state houses built in the 1950s that still have their original cylinders if we are looking for the oldest. I note that my cylinder's warranty expired 52 years ago! You have got to remember that these cylinders were built when black and white TV was only a couple of years old and we had one channel for about two hours a day, most people went by boat to Australia, and personal computers and the internet were still thirty years away. Yet despite considerable advances in technology, modern cylinders have a maximum life expectancy less than a third of my old "still good-as-gold" 1962 cylinder. What does that say about modern manufacturers?"

And an even older one ...

Any older than 1958?

Having recently moved into a new rental home, Simon noticed the water trickling out, so he had a look at the cylinder and was blown away - 1958! "My landlord is a friend so not complaining, but a 57-year-old hot water cylinder with no signs of leaks is impressive," he says.

IT security humour.

Satire: "The inevitable short haircut, which is commonly described as 'nifty', 'different' or 'youthful-looking', typically happens to mums at around the time they get really into gardening."

Video: Internet trolls exhibit "dark traits," such as Machiavellianism, narcissism, and, "very high levels of sadism," which means they "have fun distressing others by being argumentative and disruptive." The video is based on a research paper from 2014 that found 5.6% of 1,215 survey respondents self-identified as Internet trolls, or at least fessed up to enjoying trolling activities. CNET notes that it's safe to assume that some trolls would not self-identify, so the true percentage is likely higher.

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Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz