Sideswipe: Fruitless signage

Photo / Supplied

You have permission to buy the persimmons.

How inconvenient ...

Mike on the joys of living close to Eden Park: "Two weeks ago the council sent us a letter to say they are widening the footpath down our street. They said if there was going to be any inconvenience to us they would inform us. I came home to find [cones sitting across] my driveway... Obviously, the council doesn't believe being unable to park in your garage is an inconvenience."

Ankle-deep in contrition

A young Ohio couple found themselves up to their ankles in trouble for rafting on a flood-swollen river without life jackets and lying about it afterwards. A judge sentenced them to stand in a tiny swimming pool while wearing life jackets and handing out water safety brochures at a local festival. Searchers spent hours looking for them last month after they were spotted on the Grand River. They made it to land but lied to an official about being in the water. They chose the pool punishment and community service over 60 days in jail.

Voice (almost) from the grave

This yarn from lad site b3ta.com. "A couple of years ago, I was at a mate's funeral. It wasn't a happy occasion; he'd hit a tree ... As Grimsby Crematorium is noted for stealing stuff from cars during services, someone had brought his sat nav in with him: just before the son got up to do his reading, a disembodied voice said, 'You have reached your destination'. Dead silence, followed by muffled snorts from half the congregation."

Cruising for a snoozing

A new baby chair promises to provide the sleep-inducing effect of a car ride - without Mum or Dad having to drive. The Cruisin' Motion Soother mimics the movements and sounds of a car journey, including going over bumps, turning corners and even the gentle hum of the engine. (Source: Daily Mail)