Free-range eggs, on the spot, while you wait, somewhere near Helensville.
Busting out all over
1) In Britain, a baking innuendo has got a rise out of villagers in Henlow who object to the new shop's "trashy" name. Nice Baps opened last week and staff say trade is good, despite objections to its name.
2) In the French town of Neuville-en-Ferrain, a statue of Marianne, a traditional symbol of the French Revolution, was removed after protests she had a little too much up top. The artist said she gave it big breasts deliberately, "to symbolise the generosity of the Republic".
Happy workplace
A reader writes: "My husband came to New Zealand from Africa and got a job on a construction site. It took him only a few hours to work out that he was working in a very gay-friendly environment, as all of his colleagues, including his boss, kept complimenting him on his lovely bottom. He was eventually told that they were not referring to his 'sweet arse'; they were assuring him that things were 'sweet-as'."
Autographed copy
I remember the late George Haydn (one of A.R.D. Fairburn's inner circle) relating this story about a book-signing in Sydney. Customer: "Hauma Chisit". Author ( pen poised): "Hello Hauma, how do you spell that?"
Unfair marks
A reader writes: "My 6-year-old was perplexed that her spelling of the word f-e-a-r was marked wrong on a spelling test. We later found out that the word called out by the teacher was - fare."
Toothy typo
Mandy writes: "I work in a dental office and had entered a six-month dental recall exam; the computer's spell check suggested I meant rectal ..."
Successful April Fools prank
A reader writes: "Local Rodney radio station Times FM told Rodney residents they no longer needed to dial (09) for calls to Auckland now that we're all one big Super City ... Now come on, Mayor Len Brown and telco companies ... can't we turn this April Fools prank into actual reality! We are one city, after all."
Billy T. or Ben? Problem solved
Please disregard my previous question on whether the euthanasia quote was attributable to Billy T. James or Ben Couch, directs a reader. "I finally found the connection and it was a Billy T. James sketch about Ben Couch's statement. All cleared up."
Sideswipe: Fresh is best...
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