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Home / New Zealand

Sideswipe: February 27: When food innovation goes too far

Ana Samways
By Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·NZ Herald·
26 Feb, 2023 04:00 PM2 mins to read

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Ana Samways
Opinion by Ana SamwaysLearn more

At first glance, I thought this was salmon. Nope, it is ham made into the shape of a fish for some inexplicable reason.

The tediousness of performative under-eating*

1. Back when I used to work in the office, there was one woman who would only ever have half of anything on offer, no matter what it was. Samosas - oh, goodness, they look and smell lovely, but there’s no way I can eat a whole one, will anyone split it with me? Even biscuits; the Tim Tams or Custard Creams would come out, and she’d painstakingly break them in half and leave the other half in the tin.

2. My ex-MIL is obsessed with how little she eats. Fine, whatever, conversation with her is as dull as, but she then comments about what other women and girls eat. The lads are fine to eat whatever they like, but if you have a fanny, she’s on your case, watching every mouthful, telling you how many calories you’re consuming and ruining your enjoyment of what you’re eating.

*as distinct from diagnosed eating disorders.

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Mystery solved

A plague of Garfield telephones was set upon the shores of Brittany, France, back in the 1980s that would last for over 30 years. Plastic landline phones the colour of American cheese began washing up in the region in their hundreds, but for decades nobody knew where they were coming from. The Great Garfield Mystery was solved with the help of a farmer who remembered seeing a Garfield phone after a storm back in the early 1980s, and what’s more, he knew where they were coming from. A shipping container lost at sea is the obvious part, but this shipping container was tucked away inside a hidden sea cave.

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