"Perhaps it was supposed to read Prostrate, or Pro State. Not sure what is supposed to happen at 626 Dominion Rd, but the storefront was completely empty," says our reader of this sign (right).
You learn something every day
Eric Shackle from Sydney laughed out loud when a friend used the phrase, "well, slap my ass and call me Sally" in an email. When I asked him about it, he said the phrase was commonplace in his neck of the woods to express surprise. An American blogger wrote: "It's a reference to newborns. The doctor/midwife/nurse/whoever's doing the delivery will give the baby a smack to encourage the lungs to start, and it's also around this time that the baby is named, hence the 'call me ...' part. So the person using the expression would be saying that he or she was apparently naive about something, as a newborn would be." Dozens of similar expressions can be found on the internet. I particularly like: Well, love me tender and call me Elvis ... Well, buy me slippers and call me Dorothy.
20 per cent cotton, 80 per cent plate steel
The care label in a top Maree recently received as a gift read: "Please be aware that sliding too fast across indoor floors could cause friction burns where floor, suit and skin meet." As a 40+-year-old female I found it somewhat amusing! Want to know where it was bought - Ireland, of course."
True love sometimes barbed
Scar story (reprise): Ron of Kerikeri writes ... "It's on my left calf. It's 67 years old. It's 150mm long. I got it chasing my girlfriend through a barbed-wire fence ... (She got through in one piece - I didn't!) It left a strip of skin and flesh 150mm x 2mm x 2mm hanging from the barb. My buddy's mother treated it by pouring neat iodine down the wound!"
'Ear, 'ear that's too big
In some primitive cultures, beauty and status are displayed via large holes in the earlobe from which to hang heavy ornaments or to insert jewels. BBC News reports that an increasing number of counterculture Westerners are getting their lobes opened far beyond routine piercing, usually by gradually stretching but sometimes with a hole-punch tool for immediate results. The hard core are "gauge kings (or queens)," showing a commitment to the lifestyle by making holes up to 10mm wide. Cosmetic surgeons say they're already preparing procedures for the inevitable wave of regretted decisions. (Source: News of the Weird)
