Sideswipe: Dec 21: Party essentials

Essentials for the jolly season. Photo / Supplied

Life Pharmacy understands that Christmas is for grown-ups.

Pumped up forecourt title

"So Z Energy has decided to call forecourt attendants 'concierges'," says Anita. "I wonder if they bothered to find out the meaning of the word? This is: 'A hotel staff member who handles storage of luggage, taking and delivering messages or makes reservations for tours. Or a person especially in France who lives in an apartment, and serves as janitor'. Can we now book in for bed and breakfast at our local service station?"

Will Santa be at Bacardi?

If you name a street Bacardi, you're asking for trouble; as this reader found out: "To the idiot ... who thought it a great idea to steal the Bacardi Place road sign in Conifer Grove. Not only will it make locating our street difficult for family on Christmas Day, but my children are now worried Santa isn't going to find our house this year."

Size a matter of life or death

Microwave ants 1: "I suspect the reason the ants survived the microwave is due to their small size," says Craig Arrowsmith. "The wavelength of microwaves, at approximately 12.5cm, is such that small objects like ants may fit between the waves and remain unaffected. If you imagine these waves bouncing around inside your microwave oven like the ugly Telecom [logo] there are lots of places ants could fit between the lines of scribble. Ants' bodies are filled with fluid so the suggestion that they have little water in them is likely incorrect."

Shocking truth about insects

Microwave ants 2: Rob writes: "A frequent cause of microwaves passing away I saw while working in the electronics industry was infestations. Roaches etc love the warm/dark interior, and their little legs bridge power connections, causing short-circuits."

Don't let them get away with it

Paul Compston writes: "Whenever I see a car get damaged in a carpark by someone, I write down the rego number and leave it on the car that was damaged after the culprit has left."

Unwanted surprise under tree

A reader writes: "Late last week I came home to someone's belongings scattered under a tree on my property on the North Shore. There are bunches of keys, tape measures and other items. If these sound like yours call 021 711 540."