Sideswipe: Dec 2: Not a Kiwi sign

Signage on the escalator at Milford Mall may be a touch unrealistic. "Really?" writes Mark Corrigan. "Hey, this is NZ and it's nearly summer".

Only in New Zealand

"My husband was on the way to a job interview, coming from Whangarei towards the Brynderwyn Hills on Monday," writes a reader. "Our ageing car decided that was the day to shatter its clean record of reliance and pop its coolant nipple, 30 minutes before the interview 10km away. He pulled into the most inconvenient spot possible for the nearby road workers and contemplated what to do, and along came Ron. After finding out what had happened and the impending interview, Ron promptly offered my husband his ute keys, asked him not to thrash the vehicle (or to rip him off - his wallet was in the glove box) and wished him luck at the interview. Amazing, where else in the world would this happen? Ron, we salute you. You are a hero in fluoro disguise."

Milked opportunity turns sour

"As the youngest of a large family, my job was to collect the crate of six bottles of milk from the end of our long drive," writes Siobhan. "It was often dark and I was always scared of the 'bogeyman', who my six brothers had told me all about. One of these rotten brothers waited behind a wall at the bottom of the drive, he jumped out and I threw the crate of six bottles up into the air, smashing them on the drive. Mum made him go to the dairy and replace the milk with his own money."

Scared? I almost had puppies

Roger Clarke from Te Awamutu writes: "In the 1950s and '60s, the Piha movie theatre would open the side doors at half time, allowing the audience to wander outside on the grass to have a breather (or a gasper!), at which point anyone or anything could wander back in to watch the second half. On one memorable occasion in about 1960, there was a horror film showing and my mate and I were seated near the back overlooking most of the audience. During half time, a large, black Labrador had followed the returning audience and seated himself about halfway up the central aisle. He appeared just as transfixed on the horror scene as everyone else. Slowly, the horror scene developed. The heroine was cornered and about to be killed for body parts. Everyone was on the edge of their seats. The tension was palpable. Even the Labrador could feel the tension. So he let out a monstrous bark! I swear, everyone left their seats by about two feet. Only at Piha."

If you really need some help

Wellington Airport's temporary signage states the blindingly obvious.