Maria speaks to the Herald about her story of surviving sexual violence
By Samuel Martin
Warning: This article is about sexual abuse and may be distressing for some readers.
Maria Selva is a Brazilian-born business professional and yoga teacher who now calls New Zealand home.
She speaks of her home country with a smile on her face. Brazil, she says, provided the foundation for the happy, contented life she now lives. Great friends, successful studies and, aside from her parents' divorce, a functional happy family.
After her parents split, she began preferring to spend time at her aunt and uncle's house, still while living in Brazil.
It was there, in a place of supposed safety, that her life took a darker twist. From the age of 8, her uncle sexually abused her. This continued into her teenage years.
She wanted to share this story, so a mutual friend got in touch and we made a time to sit down and talk.
Initially I was unsure as to why she would want to discuss such a traumatic event, but I later learnt that, above all, Maria wants to empower those that have suffered as she has. It was only after her move to New Zealand that she confronted the events of her past.
Through yoga and meditation, Maria has learnt to acknowledge the horrific encounters she had previously suppressed.
In the moments of relaxation and reflection that meditation enabled, her feelings of guilt, shame and sadness that were associated with this issue were brought to light. Acknowledging the past and talking to other people became the best way to get heal and grow.
Through yoga, Maria learnt to acknowledge the horrific encounters she had suppressed. Photo / Samuel Martin
She found an Auckland organisation called Help that provided support and counselling for such issues and highly recommends any woman or child contacts them if in need.
It was only after receiving support from Help that she began to view herself as a survivor, not a victim.
Maria now feels empowered by the fact she can learn from this experience and has become inspired to help others like her.
She hopes she can set an example to other people who have yet to confront similar demons, promising that the first step is acknowledging what has happened and talking to someone willing to listen.
Through this, they can start the healing process and ultimately move on to a better life.
Although Maria's abuse was in Brazil, New Zealand has a sad history of sexual violence. It takes people like her to light a beacon of hope for all those affected to see.
• Samuel is a story contributor to the New Zealand Herald.
If it is an emergency and you or someone you know is at risk, call 111. • rpe.co.nz/get-help • Women's Refuge: 0800 733 843 • Rape Crisis: 0800 883 300 • Shine: 0508 744 633 • Victim Support: 0800 842 846 • Lifeline: (09) 522 2999 • Family Violence Info Line: 0800 456 450
