Sisters Anna, Libby and Kate (from left to right). Photo / Shannon Mawdsley
Sisters Anna, Libby and Kate (from left to right). Photo / Shannon Mawdsley
Childhood sexual abuse created a rift between four sisters but fighting it has brought them back together. Now two of them are walking the length of Aotearoa to highlight how far the effects of sexual abuse run.
Libby Taylor and Kate Hattaway began their journey from Cape Rēinga last Saturday and have already received overwhelming support.
"We have people stopping us in the street, we had someone driving from Auckland to Kaitaia because they wanted to meet us on the road and they stopped us on the road to talk to us to say 'thank you for what you're doing'," Taylor said.
The pair created REOSA, standing for Ripple Effects of Sexual Abuse, to raise awareness about the impact the abuse has on the survivor and those around them.
Through the organisation, they've scheduled 30 supporter walks throughout New Zealand, which Hattaway said about 45 people have joined so far, the numbers growing on each walk.
"You come together, with combined courage, to stand together against this hideous sexual abuse that's going on in our country.
Both women realised the abuse only when they were adults with their own children, but say it has had a pervasive effect on their lives.
One of their other sisters, Anna Arndt, was also affected by the abuse and is doing some of the walks with her sisters.
"The great thing is for me, a 30-year-old family friend has reached out, and said 'I believe I was sexually abused'," said Arndt. "So now I can help support her."
She said speaking out gave others hope.
Auckland psychotherapist Leah Royden told the Herald on Sunday people abused as children usually do not have context around what happened to them until later in life.
"You may not know what sex is, you know, you don't really know what's happened to you.
"Often it's sort of tied up with the sense of specialness or care, if it's grooming, which can be so confusing."
Being abused as a child can have a profound impact on the survivor's ability to feel safety in relationships and feel protected, she said.
"If I were to summarise the long-term impacts of trauma it's usually either a sort of real emotional blunting or a sort of real emotional overwhelm. And sometimes both in the same person."
Sexual trauma, she said, can shrink your world, leading to survivors to feel limited in where they can go, what they can do and their sense of safety.
"I've got a number of clients who sort of only feel safe in their bedroom, or find it really hard to venture really far from home after something like that, or at night or to have their windows open."
Given this, Royden believed the women's journey walking across Aotearoa felt like a fitting act of reclamation.
Sisters Anna, Libby and Kate (from left to right). Photo / Shannon Mawdsley
Taylor told the Herald on Sunday that getting out of your home and walking around can be a huge fear for people if they have been sexually abused.
"Because they feel so incredibly unsafe in the environment around them and so, by our getting out and walking, it's helping. And for people being able to come and join us on the supporter walks, it's helping them reclaim who they are. So it's not only giving them a voice vocally, but it's also giving them a voice physically, mentally and emotionally as well."
Outside of their journey, Hattaway said they were also working with an author to create an age-appropriate book teaching children basic consent and body information.
She said they were also handing out yellow silicone bracelets featuring the details for the 24/7 helpline Safe to Talk.
"If it can be at the forefront of people's minds, it then creates conversations and around those conversations will hopefully come some understanding.
"Some people won't get it, and won't understand and will think it will never happen to them, but we will just do our little bit to get it out there."
Hattaway's daughter, Bex Holland, has been helping with the campaign and said it was incredibly painful to watch someone you love go through what her mother had.
"If survivors out there who are isolated can see this and feel supported and be able to make a connection, I just think that's incredible."
Taylor hopes the walk will help open the door for other survivors to step through and "break the silence" about sexual abuse.
"We're two sisters, who are doing this journey together and for me that's incredibly, incredibly powerful."
If it's an emergency and you feel that you or someone else is at risk, call 111. If you've ever experienced sexual assault or abuse and need to talk to someone contact the Safe to Talk confidential crisis helpline on: • Text 4334 and they will respond • Email support@safetotalk.nz • Visit https://safetotalk.nz/contact-us/ for an online chat Alternatively contact your local police station - click here for a list.
If you have been abused, remember it's not your fault.
