Californian man Kyle Gordy said that he has fathered 47 children through sperm donation and has no plans to slow down. Video / NZ Herald
There are 47 children around the world - and another 11 on the way - who share the same biological father.
Their mums - a mix of lesbians, women in heterosexual relationships and single mothers - all used serial sperm donor Kyle Gordy and keep in touch with him via a group chat he set up, which he says will help them keep track of each other.
And now, the Los Angeles man has set his sights on New Zealand in the hope of adding Kiwi babies to his expanding brood.
Women usually recruit Gordy via one of his many social media accounts and have included a Playboy playmate and an accounting professor, Gordy claims.
He donates by artificial insemination (a cup and syringe) and natural insemination (sex). Often women will come to his house in Santa Monica so he can donate while others fly him around the country. He's recently been on a "donation tour" of Europe.
Gordy with one of his donor children, Kiyomi, 3, from LA. She has two mums. Photo / Supplied
But the practice has been slammed as unsafe by a fertility expert here. And a group of donor-conceived Kiwi adults say parents considering seeking sperm from men they've found on Facebook, over donors from a clinic, should seek out the experiences of donor-conceived offspring first.
But Gordy believes sperm banks and fertility clinics are only out to make money and that he's helping women desperate to have a child by providing a free service. And he gets to enjoy the travel perks.
In June last year, the Herald reported that Australian sperm donor Adam Hooper, who had more than 20 children, was also planning to travel to New Zealand to donate. His trip was delayed when the borders closed due to Covid but he is expecting to be here at the same time as Gordy - and in time to attend the first Bledisloe Cup game at Eden Park. They've already planned a trip to Hobbiton together.
The pair spoke to the Herald on Sunday via Zoom this week, Gordy from the US Virgin Islands, an archipelago in the Caribbean Sea, where he says a woman had paid US$1700 (NZ$2500) to fly him there to donate.
Australian donor Adam Hooper is also coming to New Zealand to donate. Photo / Supplied
'I get regular STD tests'
Gordy has been donating since he was in his early twenties, spurred by finding it hard to date in Los Angeles.
"I realised that doing this was probably the only way I could have children of my own and I thought it was more ethical than a sperm bank, because at a sperm bank you really don't know who you're going to get your sperm from."
His first donation was to a lesbian couple he knew who wanted their child to know their biological father. Many clinics in the US offer donor anonymity which is no longer legal in New Zealand.
Gordy says he provided a sample and one of the women injected herself in the back of the car and got pregnant on the first go. She's now pregnant again using his sperm.
Gordy featured on Dr Phil earlier this year.
About twice a year, women request donation the natural way as they believe it will be more effective, Gordy says. He claims he once had sex with a woman while her husband waited at home.
"I don't think he minded really. He just wanted to make her happy."
Gordy will soon have helped create 58 children.
"A lot of people are probably going to say, well that's a lot of children. Maybe, but the children are also spread out throughout the entire world. There's no children that are really close, I mean there's a couple that are maybe within like 15 to 20 miles, but I have a little chat [group] with all my moms so all the moms know each other and keep in contact.
"And I'm only really planning on probably getting one, maybe two people pregnant in New Zealand."
But he says he'd be happy to come back should the same women want more children.
So why the sudden interest in Down Under?
"I heard in New Zealand at the banks it's a three-year waiting list. That's absurd.
"I've always wanted to visit New Zealand anyway ... So if I can help out people in the same timeframe as me going to travel and sightsee, then I don't see an issue with it.
One of Gordy's donor children, Zoey, 4, from Bakersfield, California. She has two mums. Photo / Supplied
Another one of Gordy's donor children.
"If anybody is willing to put me up or reimburse some travel or hotel ... There would be priority for them."
Donation takes up most of Gordy's time. He does some accounting work to get by (he says he graduated top of his class with a bachelor's degree in accounting and finance from California State University, Northridge) but insists the women don't pay him, only cover travel costs.
Gordy says he gets regular STD tests and has years worth of results on his website. If he has sex with the women, he'll ask them to do a test.
"I've actually had it where we took STD tests right in front of each other. These are not women that are just going around the bar ... these women are more trying to start a family ... They're very careful."
And what about the risk the children may unwittingly get into relationships with each other?
"There's an absolutely zero per cent chance of incest, simple. I keep track of all the moms, not just in my group chat ... but I also have a detailed list of locations, contact information, pretty much everything."
He says he's on a strict health kick to keep himself fertile - he doesn't eat meat, drink, smoke and takes about 20 supplements a day. He tries to eat organic food but it can prove hard when travelling.
Hard to find a date
Gordy's not sure if he wants his own children, saying part of the reason he donates is because he still gets financial freedom.
To try to avoid being stung for child support, he asks that the women who are part of a couple get the other parent to adopt the child officially.
"But I also am careful and I'm not just donating to somebody who's about to be homeless, they're not working."
He says a Ukrainian woman he donated to chose him as she wanted a donor who was "actively involved in the child's life". He has offered her and the child his last name.
"Anything I can do with the kids or the moms that's reasonable and not going to cost me anything, I'm happy to do it."
Gordy, who was recently catapulted into infamy when US talk show heavyweight Dr Phil gave him a dressing down, says he has never had a long-term relationship, and only recalls one "fling".
"I honestly think if I was like in New Zealand, it probably would be easier ... a lot of foreign women I talk to are interested in a relationship ... America is the most difficult place in the world to date or find a relationship.
"Brazil, Europe, Australia, even New Zealand, I feel like women there are more open-minded, especially to someone like me who does this.
"If a lovely New Zealand lady comes along, I'd be open to exploring something."
One lesbian couple asked him if he wanted to be part of a polyamorous relationship. But they ultimately decided it would be a stretch too far for their families.
'These are not your kids'
Gordy believes his urge to donate stems from being donor conceived himself. He didn't find out until he was in his early 20s when his mother finally told him.
"I've always had a weird suspicion because my dad didn't look like me. And my mom would always brush it off."
Gordy has 47 kids, with 11 on the way. Photo / Supplied
He says his mother attempted to find out the identity of her donor via the clinic she went through but was told he did not want to be found.
About nine months after he found out, Gordy started to donate himself.
He's had mixed feedback from his family about what he does.
"My mom is indifferent about it so sometimes she's ... 'It's not right'. Other times she's like, it's cool. She does like to hear about the kids though. But she does tell me, 'These are not your kids'.
"My twin brother is very cool. He's my biggest fan ... he told his girlfriend he has a lot of nieces and nephews."
'It's really unsafe what Kyle is proposing to do'
It is illegal to pay sperm donors in New Zealand but there are no laws around the number of families they can donate to.
Andrew Murray, group medical director for Fertility Associates. Photo / Katie Harris
But Fertility Associates, which does 80 per cent of the country's sperm donation work, caps the number at seven.
"It's really unsafe what Kyle is proposing to do," says Andrew Murray, group medical director.
"The thing that really worries me is it's not in the best interests of the two most important people - the child who may come from this and the women who might choose to use his sperm.
"From the children's point of view, no one really wants to have 40-plus siblings ... and how many more might come from his practices?
"For the women using his sperm, I have massive concerns about infection risk, the role that Kyle might want to play in the future that could be unwanted."
The company screens donors for STDs and other infections, as well as 290 genetic conditions and puts them through psychological screening.
"We make sure donors are safe and doing it for all the right reasons."
He concedes Fertility Associates' waiting list for a clinic donor is long at three years but they encourage women to recruit personal donors.
"That doesn't mean going to Facebook. That means considering your own personal contacts."
Thinking of the children
Auckland couple Taryn Cumming and partner Kat Buchanan were pregnant at the same time using a New Zealand sperm donor they found on Facebook. They signed a contract with him which stated he will donate to no more than six families.
New Lynn couple Kat Buchanan, left, with Piper, and Taryn Cumming, with Ryan. Photo / Supplied
"Ensuring anyone is or is not a serial donor is hard to gauge as there are no legalities here in New Zealand. At the end of the day, all we have is to rely on the donor to be honest," Cumming says.
"I encourage women to think long and hard about using serial sperm donors, especially in places as small as New Zealand, Aotearoa.
"Although it didn't happen to us, I do know of a few women who have got STDs from their donors. So if I could change anything in my process it would be to ensure the donor had an STD test within three days of the planned insemination at my own cost."
Cumming says the couple's donor is open to connecting them with other women he has donated to so their children can meet their half-siblings and "for incest reasons".
A spokeswoman for Donor Conceived Aotearoa says decades of research shows a lack of transparency and accountability is harmful to donor-conceived children and their families.
"DCA encourages all parents and donors to seek out the perspectives and experiences of donor conceived people when considering donor conception."
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