Secret misery of being a new father

By REBECCA WALSH

New fathers suffering from depression are likely to go unnoticed because of a lack of services for men, Plunket says.

Work by Canterbury Plunket and the Father and Child Trust, a support network for fathers, reveals many men struggle to cope with their new role as parents.

Some go on to develop depression.

Plunket's southern clinical adviser, Marg Bigsby, says some studies have put depression levels for men around or after the birth of a child at similar levels to that of women.

But there is little recognition that men can suffer similar symptoms.

"It doesn't come to our attention the same way it does for women," she says. "I don't know if it's because of its prevalence or the nature of our organisation, which sees women."

"I think there is a limit to people's support of fathers. At some point they say you have to keep the home fires burning, keep the income coming and get on with it."

About one in 10 women suffer from post-natal depression after the birth of a baby.

Symptoms include sleep disturbance not associated with the baby waking, loss of appetite, anxiety and increased irritability.

Women may find themselves crying for no reason, feeling guilty about not being a good mother and feeling unable to cope.

The Canterbury Plunket Post-Natal Adjustment Programme has been working since September 1999 with women who have suspected post-natal depression and/or difficulty adjusting to being parents.

Up until March this year it had received more than 450 referrals. During that time it saw 105 male partners, who were either given more information about depression - to better understand what their partners were going through - or were found to be struggling themselves.

Changes in the relationship with their partners and finding themselves in non-stereotypical roles were two of the most prominent factors in fathers with depression symptoms.

Harald Breiding-Buss, founder of the Father and Child Trust in Christchurch, says men who are the primary caregivers are not the only ones who suffer.

After the birth of a baby many men felt cut off emotionally from their partner and were left questioning their role.

Others worried about how they would cope financially.

Some men felt angry about the extent to which their relationship with their partner had changed.

Auckland psychiatrist Dr Jan Reeves says men are less likely to suffer from depression after childbirth than women, who also have to deal with hormonal and body changes.

She has worked with a few men who have become depressed and says it is more likely if they feel they have suffered significant losses.

These could include the loss of their partner's attention, a loss of sleep or sex.

Many fathers felt they had nothing to contribute to a newborn's care as the baby was often completely dependent on the mother, especially if breastfed.

Dr Reeves says having a new baby requires adjustments for both parents but if any feelings of depression have not been resolved within two to three months, they should seek help.

Mr Breiding-Buss says it is very difficult for men to ask for help, even if they recognise something is wrong.

"The whole support system after the birth of a child is run by women and focuses on women."

Isolation could be one of the biggest factors for new fathers, and being able to talk to other fathers could be a huge support.

"Every father needs to know other dads, even in an informal way," he said.

"It doesn't need to be a support group, it doesn't need to be sitting down and talking about feelings."

Mrs Bigsby says Plunket is working to take a broader approach to its work with families, but its focus is on the child and most contact is with mothers.

Having more men working in the area might also encourage other men to seek assistance.

Symptoms of depression

* Persistent low mood

* Decreased pleasure and interest in daily activities

* Poor concentration

* Sleep disturbances

* Decreased energy

* Changes in appetite

* Feelings of worthlessness

nzherald.co.nz/health