No one disputes the fact medical science has made huge progress over the course of the 20th century. And perhaps even more in the last five days.
Only on Monday, Disprin brought out extra-extra-extra strength Disprin - the headache equivalent of a disposable razor with sixteen blades. Just thinking about it makes your head hurt. Then on Wednesday, surgeons and staff at Saint Teresa's Hospital for people trapped in the 70's successfully performed the world's first sideburns transplant.
Mother and child are both recovering well.
Yet if news filtering through from the Global Institute for Communicable Diseases (plus others that refuse to talk) is anything to go by... these success stories may soon count for little. Over the next 48hrs, New Zealand will be facing its greatest medical challenge since SARS swept into a woolshed in Murchison and created sheep flu: How to stop Australia from giving us the SHITCS.
Naturally present in their human carriers across the Tasman, SHITCS (or Southern Hemisphere Irritable Too Cocky Syndrome) antibodies cause symptoms such as chronic overconfidence, bleach-blonde hair (everywhere) and over-talkativeness - syndromes so commonplace in Sydney they are considered harmless.
