While Afaese was not involved in that incident, the court heard he accepted responsibility for the latest death.
His second wife, Alofaifo Afaese, died on State Highway 16 northwest of Auckland after a head-on collision caused by her husband trying to overtake another car.
The crash happened about 7pm on the night before Good Friday. It was Afaese's birthday and he had been taking their two sons and a female cousin to an Easter camp.
His car and a Honda driven by Steele Hemana exited a two-lane roundabout near Kumeu at the same time.
When the lanes merged Mr Hemana drove ahead. Angered by that, Afaese followed closely and flashed his lights.
As the cars approached a bend, Afaese veered into the wrong lane to try to overtake but was met head-on by a Subaru driven by Michael Schick.
The collision catapulted Afaese's car along the road, damaging two more vehicles before it stopped rolling.
Mrs Afaese, who was not wearing a seatbelt, was thrown from the vehicle and the children in the back seat had to be cut from the wreckage.
Witnesses spoke of Afaese hysterically trying to revive his motionless wife as the children screamed inside the battered Mitsubishi.
Neru Afaese. Photo / Dean Purcell
He suffered a broken nose but his 9- and 10-year-old sons sustained head injuries and their 10-year-old cousin broke her leg.
Mr Schick was taken to hospital with brain bruising and now has trouble concentrating and sleeping.
However, he, too, was against Afaese serving a prison term.
Judge Lisa Tremewan said Afaese had convictions for dangerous driving and failing to stop at the scene of an accident from 1999 but she considered them too old to increase the sentence.
Crown prosecutor Scott McColgan said a message had to be sent to the wider community.
"The flipside of that coin in terms of the victims is whether we're prepared to inflict further harm to satisfy the purpose of general deterrence."
The judge agreed the situation was "sufficiently unique", given Afaese was now a sole caregiver to four children.
"Having read statements [the children] made to social workers it's clear to me that they need you and if you were taken away from them the consequences would be quite devastating," she told Afaese.
He was ordered to do 175 hours of community work and was disqualified from driving for 18 months.