KEY POINTS:
Television motoring maverick Jeremy Clarkson feigns disdain on learning that our environmentally-friendly former prime minister once clocked 172km/h in her chauffeured limo, rushing to a rugby test.
"Why was she going so slowly," he asks, "if she was in a hurry?"
It is this kind of brazen cockiness that has made Clarkson a polarising figure internationally, loved by fans of his BBC TopGear motoring show, loathed by liberals, road safety campaigners, environmentalists and cyclists.
When Clarkson and his co-host Richard Hammond arrive in New Zealand next month, they are determined to disregard the country's green image and "burn some fossil fuel".
Clarkson told the Herald on Sunday that if people thought the carbon footprint of bringing the TopGear Live show around the world to New Zealand was bad, "it is nothing compared to the footprint of the TopGear [TV] show".
This is the show that has attached a rocket to the back of a three-wheeled Reliant Robin car and blasted it into the thin air of the earth's atmosphere. This is the show on which Clarkson drove a pimped Toyota Hilux across the pristine snow and ice of the Arctic to the North Pole. This is the show on which Hammond all-but-died when he rolled a rocket car at 464km/h.
Clarkson's dismissal of the problems of climate change provoked distinguished environmentalist Sir Jonathan Porritt to lose his cool and label him an "outstandingly bigoted petrolhead".
He did more harm to the environment than Sir David Attenborough did good, Porritt added.
"Anyone who can shut up Jeremy Clarkson deserves more honours than have already been heaped on David Attenborough."
Yet Clarkson, 48, is unperturbed by the attacks from greenies, around the world and here in New Zealand.
"I shall ignore them. Like we all should. And then they will go away," he says.
"I don't care whether New Zealand is green since I don't have to pay for all your eco schemes."
Clarkson and Hammond will be joined by Kiwi racing star Greg Murphy on the stage of the ASB Stadium in Kohimarama next month for a show that does some rather risky things with some very expensive cars, no doubt creating as many headaches for insurers as it does for environmentalists. It is an action-packed 75-minute show, featuring high-octane stunts, special effects and blockbusting driving sequences.
Says Murphy: "You can't stop people from enjoying themselves and having fun. If that means it's not as PC as some people would like, well, so be it. Not everyone wants to be PC; not everyone wants to live a dull, boring life.
"It's not so much about the environment. It's about getting out there and having some fun. Burn some fossil fuel, smoke some rubber.
The TopGear Live team has little time for environmental rules and regulations. "I think a lot of it's very petty and I think a lot of it's about people justifying their jobs, to be honest," Murphy says.
After the shows, Murphy - four times a winner of the Bathurst 100 - hopes to pack the Brits into a helicopter and fly them up to the Bay of Islands, or down to Taupo for some jet-boating action.
One of Clarkson's last visits to New Zealand was to film a show about jetboating in Queenstown, and he has fond memories of the country.
"My most memorable visit to New Zealand was the last one," Clarkson says.
"The BBC was feeling rather poor so said that there was not enough money in the budget for a hotel.
"I therefore arrived from London in the morning and left for London in the evening.
"I genuinely love New Zealand.
I meant it when I said it was 24 years behind Britain - that there was a genuine friendliness that disappeared from our streets 24 years ago."
Ah yes, those comments. After his jetboating trip in 1997, Clarkson stirred up a bit of a storm by saying that visiting New Zealand was like a time warp back to the black days of Margaret Thatcher, where Vauxhall Vivas, Hillman Avengers, Austin Allegros still plied the streets in significant numbers. Visitors flying to New Zealand should set their watches back 24 years, he added for good measure.
Now, he reveals a certain affection for New Zealanders and their kooky cars - like the notorious Trekka. The Trekka, the only ever production car made and sold in this country, was like a 1960s cross between a Jeep and a cardboard box on wheels, famed only for its fragility.
"I'm baffled," says Clarkson. "Why did the Trekka, which was a 1950s Skoda built in an upside down factory to resemble a 1940s Land Rover, not catch on? I should imagine it was one of the most delightful cars ever."
Hammond, at least, hasn't had the chance to cause offence to the elderly motorists of Christchurch and Palmerston North. Yet.
This will be his first visit to New Zealand and Australia.
"We've been looking for an excuse to get over there since we started TopGear because the attitude straight away just worked and it seemed to resonate over there," says 'The Hamster'.
It is nothing short of a miracle that the pint-sized Hammond, 39, is still here to make the visit, after the high speed crash in 2006 that put him in hospital in a coma. He was assessed, he says, as clinically dead. That experience, says the married father-of-two, has made him cherish life more.
"It's a big taste of mortality, isn't it? It's made me realise that life is a really precious thing and having 'lost it' makes you appreciate it more."
Murphy, at least, has some understanding of the adrenaline high that hooks thrillseekers like Hammond and Clarkson - although he has walked away without serious injuries from his biggest race track crashes.
"The rush they get from it, the thrills they get from doing these things, it drives them. It's living life to the fullest," he says.
Murphy says he thrives on an element of personal risk. "I can't get enough out of doing adrenaline stuff. If I'm not doing something that's exciting or thrilling, then I'm a bit bored."
